The Veil Can Wait
by Backroads
Summary: Since Sirius wasn't supposed to die when he fell through the Veil, he gets a second chance. The bad news: his body isn't available. The good news: Fudge has just departed, leaving a perfectly good and available body behind...
1. The Veil

_Hello and welcome to my latest fic.As always, criticism is welcome._

_I do not own Harry Potter. That right belongs to J. K. Rowling and Warner Brothers and probably some other people I don't know about._

_Nor do I own the rights to_ Here Comes Mr. Jordon Heaven Can Wait_, and _Down to Earth_. But they are all really good movies, and I admit that this story is a blatant HP rip-off of that plot. But please try and enjoy anyway._

* * *

Sirius didn't mean to fall. And why would he? Falling was failure, and the only reason he was here was because Harry just had to be the little twit to rush out to the Ministry with his friends in a move of utter suicide. Not that Sirius particularly minded; it was an act of bravery. Something James would have happily gone along with. Sirius only wished he had thought of it first. For as scary as it was, with Death Eaters moving in like a plague, it was the most excitement available for months. It was terrible of him to think like that, but it was the truth. Here he was, the feared convict Sirius Black, roaming the very halls of the Ministry of Magic in an incredible twist of irony regardless of whatever Albus thought.

He liked it. He liked it more than anything. This was the reason he had burst out of prison. Well, not _the_ reason, but wasn't this what freedom was supposed to be about? He could almost taste the blood at his lips after it surged like lava through his veins. The greatest of feelings.

It was supposed to be so easy. Get in, get Harry, fight evil, get out, having fun on the way.

So he clearly wasn't supposed to fall.

He should have seen it in Bellatrix's eyes. They had never got along anyway. And now, with her a respectable Black Death Eater, why wouldn't she have a reason to kill him?

He probably could have defended himself, in that final moment. He saw the beam out of the corner of his eye, bright and venomous. Painful, but not one of the more harmful spells. _I could take it,_ was his one thought. He would have to take it, if he expected to attack anyone else. He wouldn't need to defend himself.

It hurt as it struck him, and threw him off of his feet. He should have at least been prepared for balance.

He felt the curtains flutter at his face. Voices. He could hear voices. Of course he could; people were everywhere.

But they didn't have voices like this.

James?

There wasn't any floor on the other side of the curtain.

* * *

"'Morning, sunshine!"

Sirius groaned. He never had been a morning person; one of the few benefits of Azkaban was the continual darkness. And even more he hated it when James pulled that stupid phrase.

But James was...

Sirius was suddenly awake. James was dead. Had been murdered almost fifteen years ago. He knew that.

Yet James, just as he remembered him, stood before him, strangely bright in a room of utter blackness. Azkaban again?

"James," Sirius said hoarsely. Yes, it was James, black hair forced to messiness, dark red robes, and grinning happily. His best friend since school days. He felt his fingers go numb. "James."

"Yeah, it's me." James extended a hand.

Sirius stared at it. This wasn't real. He must have hit his head after Bellatrix had cast that spell. He was hallucinating. Well, if it was a dream of unconsciousness, he might as well enjoy it. After another pause, he accepted James' hand. "You... you look good."

"Thanks," James replied, pulling him to his feet. "Being dead agrees with me, oddly enough."

"Dead." Sirius forced a laugh. He didn't think he had remembered James this well. Where was his mind pulling this all from? "Yes, you would be dead. But... but it's great to see you!" Before he knew it he had his arms around James.

"Great to see you, too. And I hope to see a lot more of you."

Hopefully he'd regain consciousness sooner than that. "Well, considering you are dead...."

James cleared his throat. "Erm, Sirius?"

Sirius froze. Something was wrong. He couldn't put his finger on it, but the way James' voice dropped just then...

James looked at the ground, grimacing. "This is my first time doing anything like this. I didn't think it would be so hard to just say it. But then it had to be you. Sirius, I had expected you to stay around a lot longer than this. Especially now that you can finally keep an eye on Harry and everything."

A joke. James was just making some strange taunt. "James, what are you talking about?"

James took a deep breath and met him square in the eye. "You're dead, Sirius."

This would be a marvelous time to wake up. "What?"

James shook his head. "You heard me. You're dead."

This wasn't very funny. "James... I'm hallucinating you. I hit my head or something." Had he just called his best friend whom he hadn't seen for fifteen years a hallucination?

"On what?"

"On what?" Sirius felt his fingers squeezing themselves into a fist. "On what? The last thing I remember was Bellatrix Lestrange shooting her wand at me at the Ministry becuase your son--"

"I know, I was watching." James sighed. "You weren't just in the Ministry; you were in the Department of Mysteries. Standing on that platform with the Veil. She knocked you threw it, you idiot. You didn't hit your head on anything."

"She knocked me through a curtain and suddenly I'm dead?" He didn't mean to shout, especially not at James, but this was getting ridiculous. He couldn't possibly be dead. "I hit my head on the floor, that's all. That can't be enough to kill me."

"Wizards in the Department of Mysterious are morons, Sirius. You wouldn't believe the things they study. The Veil, the curtain you fell through, is actually an entrance to a path leading up to the Spirit World."

James as might as well churned out gibberish. "What?"

"I knew this would be hard to explain." James ran a hand through his hair, messing it up. "Look, the fact is that you are now a spirit. And it really isn't bad at all..."

He had to wake up now. He just had to. "It isn't really bad that I'm dead?!" He had a sudden urge to just throw himself at James. "I guess you're going to say next that it isn't bad Lord Voldemort killed you fifteen years ago! Your son Harry... do you have any idea what he's going though? Do you have any idea what everyone else is going through?" He grabbed a piece of his own skin and pinched hard. He wasn't waking up. Were hallucinations this real?

"I know what's going on out there," James said, grabbing Sirius roughly by the shoulders. "I'd like you out there with Harry more than anything. But the fact is that it is now too late. Do you have any idea where your body is right now?"

"My body?" Sirius looked down at himself, half-expecting to see nothing. He wasn't believing James, was he?

"You're a spirit now. And you'll just have to rely on everyone else to survive."

Sirius struggled out of James' grip, feeling his rage rise even higher. "James, what is really going on?"

There was no reply.

"James..." Sirius locked their eyes... and felt the rest of him go numb. James had never lied to him. And in that moment, a wave of horror crashed over him. "James, are you serious?"

James opened his mouth to reply, but another voice took over.

"You idiot!" A red-haired woman stomped into view, green eyes burning, and stopped in front of James, who cringed. "You idiot," she repeated, then raised her hand and smacked him.

"Lily?" Sirius heard himself say.

She whirled around, fury gone in place of a brilliant smile. "Sirius! It's wonderful to see you!" And before he could stop her she jumped on him with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "No, I take that back. It's not wonderful to see you, and it's all James' fault."

"Lily," Sirius repeated. He couldn't believe this.

"I don't know what you're talking about," James said firmly. "Lily, I was just talking to Sirius--"

"That is exactly what's wrong!" she shouted, turning back on her husband. "You just went ahead and took him out of his body without a single thought!"

Now James and Sirius were both staring at her.

"Like what kind of thought?" James asked gingerly.

Lily smacked him again. "Like the fact that Sirius isn't registered to die for another sixty-three years!"

The room--wherever they were--went silent.

"Huh?"

Lily groaned. "Sirius, I'm really sorry about this."

Sirius' mind was a whirl. First he was dead, now he wasn't supposed to be dead. Hopefully he was still only hallucinating. Only that answer was quickly falling to the wayside. This was all much too real.

"But he fell through the Veil," James said. "You know what that does. It would have killed him anyway."

"Not necessarily," Lily said. "I was just... oh, look here." She pulled out a roll of parchment and opened it. "This is Sirius' fate. Or was supposed to be. See, this is his death date. Or what was supposed to be." That was accompanied by another glare.

James went pale. "But, but that's not necessarily the truth."

"And here was two minutes ago." She poked the parchment so hard she might have ripped it. "As you should perfectly well know, the living actually can survive in the realm beyond the Veil for a very short time. He just might have been rescued. Idiot."

"Let me see that." James ripped the parchment from Lily and read over it silently, a look of sickness progressively taking over.

And they were just standing there as if he didn't exist, Sirius thought. "Let me see that."

James held it away. "Sorry. For angel eyes only. But... Sirius, I'm really sorry about this. I guess, I guess you weren't supposed to die back there."

"So it's all been just a horrible mistake? I can go back?" This was perfect. "And if you're angels..."

Lily closed her eyes. "Sirius, please blame my husband for this. But, no, you can't go back. James has ruined it."

Lily did have her own moments of joking. "But you just said I wasn't supposed to die. Lily, Harry is back there. I have to help him."

James handed the parchment back to Lily and faced Sirius. "I'm sorry, but I ripped your spirit from your body before you actually bit the dust. According to your fate, you would have clung to consciousness for about a quarter of an hour, long enough to keep yourself from being sucked completely into the world of the dead, long enough to cast some spell you learned from your family long ago to free yourself from that realm and pop back to the world of the living. You would have been fine. But now... it's impossible to retreive a dead body from that place. So... I guess you're just going to have to accept this."

That was too much. "No. No, James, I'm not going to accept this." He could still see Harry back in the Ministry, Remus, everyone. Fighting for their lives. He had to help them. "I spent twelve years in Azkaban. I suffered under Dumbledore's house arrest. Harry... I really need to help him. I can't die now!"

"Sirius--"

He waved James away and marched to the edge of the platform. There seemed to be more beyond it. "I'm not staying in this place."

"Of course not," Lily said quicky. "Heaven is far superior."

"You just said you were angels, James. You can do something, can't you."

Lily sighed and threw the parchment behind her. "In any other circumstance, we could just return you to your body, no problems whatsoever. But there is no possible way to get your body back now. It's gone."

She didn't understand. He adored Lily. She was one of his favorite people. But apparently she didn't understand. Was there any way to make her? "Lily, James, Harry has already lost you two. I'm his godfather. Do you know what it would do to him if he lost me as well?"

Lily flinched. "I know, but..."

"But there just isn't a body..." A grin slowly cut through the sickness on his face. "Actually, there is something we could do."

"James," Lily warned. "What are you thinking?"

"Nothing," James said happily. "Sirius, does it have to be your body you get back?"

James had apparently gone mad in the afterlife. "What?"

"Of course!" Lily shrieked. She threw her arms around James and kissed him. "I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier, but that would work, wouldn't it?"

Something else wasn't right.

Lily leaped away from James and grabbed Sirius' hand. "It's a wonderful idea. Let me explain, Sirius. We can't get your body back, but... maybe we could find you another one."

_To Be Continued...._


	2. The Body

_Wow! Thanks to everyone who reviewed! (Shout-outs at the bottom.) By the way, I must warn you: It may become very disturbing in a few chapters._

* * *

"Another body?" The words were a meaningless rush. Sirius stared down at himself, at the familiar arms and legs and the clothes he wore. He didn't look dead, if indeed he were. Again the thought crossed him that Lily and James were playing one sick joke. "What do you mean, another body?"

"It's very simple, Sirius." Lily plopped down on the black plane called ground, her feet folded under her. "Your body is, for all intents and purposes, pretty much gone; I doubt it will ever be seen again until some various resurrection or another. But since James was an idiot—" She flashed a glare at her husband. "Technically, you don't have to go to the spirit world yet. If you want to, that's awesome, but if not, and it seems as if you'd rather not go yet, you'd have to get another body."

That was the sickening idea.

"So, what we would do, is go back to the world of the living and look for an available body. Someone who has just died."

"Preferably someone who has just died and no one knows about it yet," put in James.

"Of course," Sirius said weakly. He still couldn't believe this was being discussed; it was like something out of nightmare.

"You'd just enter the body," Lily said. Her voice was now racing as if it conducted the world's most brilliant of plans. "And live out the rest of your time."

The rest of his time. Lily was certifiably insane. He was supposed to spend the rest of his life… as someone else? "But I wouldn't be Sirius."

The glee vanished from Lily, and she carefully stood up. "Well, of course you'd still be Sirius. Just not in your own body. That's not how it works."

"It's the only way you can go back." James placed a firm hand on Sirius' shoulder. "Look, I'd really love it if you went with us, but… if this is really what you want to do, all we can offer is another body."

With a snarl Sirius twisted away, James' nails just raking his cloak. "That's not fair at all! How can I help your son if he doesn't recognize me?"

Whatever silence that should have filled the area barged its way in. Lily's hands shot to her mouth, a weakened mirror of James' sudden rigidity. Something snapped in Sirius' mind. What had he just done?

But he had to continue. He had always been like that. "Yes, James. Your son. The one I've been trying to protect ever since Azkaban." Bloody hell, it didn't even sound like his voice.

Lily utter a whimper, letting her hands fall in a wave to her side. "Sirius, we're grateful for that. But you can't help him from here. Think, if you were back in the world of the living, even with another body…"

The logic was perfect, and it had been there far too long. Swearing under his breath, he turned from her. "This is so insane." But if it did mean going back…

"Think very carefully," James said. "We'll even let you pick the one you want."

He couldn't help but laugh, despite the whirling chaos in his brain. "Great. My choice of corpses."

"So you're agreeing?" For a moment it was Hogwarts again, James trying to lead him into something stupid that he was certainly going to go along with.

He found himself nodding and in a moment of panic he considered changing his mind. But what other choice did he have? He smiled. "Sure. Let's go body hunting."

In a flash the darkness was gone, replaced by a picturesque little park of green trees.

"It's in Essex," James said nonchalantly. He and Lily stood nearby, Lily examining a nearby road. "Maybe you've been here."

Sirius had no memory of Apparation. "Did you—"

"Actually, it was I." Lily waved her hand. "It's fun. Well, in just a few seconds, a man is going to swerve off the road into this tree in a gloriously bloody car accident."

"Car accident?" Sirius echoed. "Is he a Muggle?"

Lily's attention was back on the road. "Why? Is that a problem?"

James sighed. "It might be easier if we picked a wizard…"

The screech of tires filled the air, sending a flock of birds rocketing from the bushes just before a red sports car skidded over the grass toward them.

Sirius closed his eyes, flinching for the impact. Nothing.

All he heard was James laughing. "Scared you, didn't it?"

He opened his eyes. The car had gone past him, and was presently on fire along with the tree. "It was coming right…"

"You're a spirit, Sirius," James explained. "Material things have no affect on you. Not unless you have a body. And I take it you don't want that one."

Lily shrugged. "Sorry, I grew up Muggle. And I suppose a burn victim would be useless anyway. Poor bloke, this one, though." She sighed and snapped her fingers.

Instead of the park there now rose a street corner of Diagon Alley.

"This time," James said. "Someone's going to be poisoned. Accidentally." He laughed.

"I think it's sad." Lily pointed to two wizards strolling from a potions shop carrying various bottles. "It's the blonde one, I believe. Oh, dear, that bottle isn't his whiskey at all…."

Sirius stared at the man, thinking. It didn't look like a bad body, but… He could afford to be picky, couldn't he?

The man was now choking, his friend watching on in amazement.

"Well?" asked James.

"I don't know…" He didn't even know the man. Though, he supposed, introductions would hardly be necessary if he were just taking over the man's life. But how close could he get to Harry this way?

"You're still so obnoxious," James said, smiling. "But… we'll find someone worthy of old Padfoot."

"Of course we will. Though the blonde man isn't bad at all… not that I don't love you James." Lily twisted a piece of her hair. "You know… if you do want to help Harry, maybe we could get you somewhere closer to Hogwarts. If I'm not mistaken… there's someone who lives in Hogsmeade who is about to get killed in a very violent Quidditch game…" She whipped the scroll back out. "Yes, he lives in Hogsmeade, but the game is actually here in London. I guess the Ministry of Magic is putting it on. You know, I never will understand Quidditch."

She had barely finished speaking than Diagon Alley was gone and they stood in a small, professional-looking Quidditch field, something painfully government member-oriented. The Quidditch players soared above, the Quaffle flying back and forth in barely-visible red blur.

"It should be the bludger," Lily murmured. "But I think we'll be waiting a few minutes. Oh, that's him, number 14."

Sirius caught sight of the possible body as the Keeper paused. And he nearly choked. Sirius had always tried not to judge on looks but… the man was simply hideous.

But maybe…

Maybe he'd have to think about it.

The quaffle struck someone. Not number 14, but someone else, and hardly enough to damage. But enough to call a foul.

"Stupid play anyway," James muttered.

Number 14 hung at the sidelines, waiting impatiently as the referee defended his actions. Then, with a bored sigh, he walked off the field.

"Be back when the game's ready to return," Sirius heard the man call to a teammate. "But I've been meaning to ask the Minister something…"

The Minister of Magic… Sirius gave an inward groan. He wasn't ready to deal with Fudge.

Number 14 passed him, brushing his arm as he did and not even tossing a look. Apparently Sirius was invisible to the living. "Stupid department family games," Number 14 muttered.

"Let's follow him," Lily suggested.

"Yes, maybe the Bludger hits up off the field." James made a grab at her hair.

Lily punched his arm, then followed Number 14.

"You married her," Sirius said. With a shrug, he followed Lily, James right behind him. "You know, it would be very interesting if that guy did die off his broom."

"You would find that fascinating."

Fudge was waiting by the gate, looking rather put out as Number 14 approached him. "You waved me off the field, Henders? For what? I'm trying to enjoy something, what with You-Know-Who being back and all."

Since when did Cornelius Fudge believe that?

"I just needed to ask you something about a document the Department of Mysteries is bothering me to send them," the man now known as Henders said. "I've been forgetting for the past week…"

"Not unlike you," Fudge said with a deep sigh. "Now, what's your question?"

Henders opened his mouth to answer, but instead came a scream.

"Avada Kedavra."

Sirius couldn't believe he had heard the words, so tiny and breathless. He saw the beam of green light stemming from nowhere.

Henders rolled to the ground, but the curse didn't seem to be intended for him, anyway.

The Minister fell, eyes wide open in terror, to the ground.

Henders stared, then picked himself up and ran screaming back towards the field. No one else seemed to have heard.

Sirius gazed in horror at the Minister's dead body. Of all the things he had witnessed in Azkaban… but certain people, especially people like Fudge… things like this weren't supposed to happen to them. Ever. True, he had never cared for Fudge, but to watch him be murdered? And by who?

James was already in the surrounding bushes, pushing them aside. "No one's here."

Face pale, Lily looked at her parchment. "Oh… and I guess Cornelius Fudge was also supposed to die."

It was a terrible time for such a question, but Sirius suddenly had no control over his words. "What about that other man?"

The distant viewers of the game let out a cry of horror following a sickening thud.

She cringed. "He must have just ran madly into the field…."

Suddenly it didn't seem appropriate to discuss bodies. "So… now what?"

James returned, shaking his head. "I can't figure out where that came from. And now we've two dead bodies. Including the head of the magical world." He looked ill.

The head of the magical world… Sirius tried to tear his eyes away from Fudge, but he couldn't. And still no one had come running. Why would they, at an innocent little department Quidditch match… with one dead body in the field already. The one witness to the death was dead himself. No one knew Fudge was dead.

He swore. What was he thinking?

But wouldn't it be fun for just a short time…

"Sirius." James' voice was strangely high. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Sirius didn't dare look at his friends. Oh, no, they couldn't be thinking this. But Fudge had been so against the Order of the Phoenix before… what more help could be given than if the actual government were on the Order's side? And Harry and the others… No, no, no.

Then why was he so excited?

"Would it be permanent?" he heard himself say. "Just so… just so the government doesn't go into chaos."

"No, it won't be permanent, if you want that," James replied.

Lily shook her head. "What are you two talking about?"

"Think what you could do!" James said, hair slipping into his eyes. "Think what you could do! Sirius, it's a dream chance. And meanwhile we'd look for a better body… just until something is set up…"

Take control of the Ministry… if he really were dead, and he really couldn't have his own body back… why not take something powerful?

"Only temporary," he said. Then, slowly, he moved toward the body.

James was nearly rolling on the floor in hysterics. "This is going to be priceless!"

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Sirius muttered. The body was just at his feet. He stared down at Fudge. Sadly enough, Henders was much uglier than him. And that was no compliment to Fudge. But what would a proper Marauder do at this sort of chance? He hopped inside the body.

* * *

**Shout Outs!**

**_Aerinha:_** Wow, I actually got you reading a HP fic? I feel special. Yes, many problems will be caused.

**_Arwench:_** I guess Fudge could be considered one of Sirius' enemies. )

**_Avalon Estel:_** Sirius lives! At least in JK's books. He's actually dead here. I don't know what else the veil could be!

**_Harry Hippie:_** Some overused plots are just so tempting… you know, you should have suggested Voldemort earlier… that's a great idea!

**_hydraspit:_** Thanks! And I'm glad you're okay with a blatant rip-off.

**_Jamie McFly_**: Yay! You're reading one of my fics! You do love me! Go Sister! And yes, it is called _Heaven Can Wait_. Get Mom to rent it.

**_Kandy916_**: Yes, there is something great about a stressed Sirius.

**_Lady Kazaana:_** That's okay. You'll be first in my heart.

**_Lady Meriadoc:_** Thanks! I've never been very sure of what to do for Lily and James because we don't see much of them.

**_meenyrocks_**: You know.. someone was telling me about that movie a few weeks ago! I"ll have to look for it.

**_Mooncheese:_** You're a poet and you didn't even know it.

**_Moonylover2000:_** Thanks!

**_sYnergY's Duality_**: Well, he is dead.. but he wasn't supposed to be dead! Thanks!

**_v-babe24:_** I must have Lily! Thanks! By the way… I'm still using.. the problem child.


	3. The Minister

_I apologize that not much happens plot-wise in this chapter, but I thought Sirius needed a little flare for dealing with his new existence. Plus, there are a couple of important characters introduced in here._

* * *

Sirius didn't feel any different. Was he supposed to? If he really were a spirit, then wouldn't the pressure of a physical body create some weight? Especially Fudge's body. The man wasn't digustingly huge, but it wouldn't have hurt him to lose a pound or two while he was alive. Of course, Sirius hadn't been a spirit for very long. So maybe he was more used to how having a body felt.

Taking a deep breath--had he been breathing as a spirit?--he climbed to his feet. Fudge's body moved easily; for some reason, that was surprising.

James gave a low whistle. "Lookin' good, Mr. Black."

So he looked good. Sirius snorted derisively. "You have no taste."

"James has great taste; he married me," Lily said. "Really, Sirius, you look good."

What did Fudge's body look from his own eyes? Curious, Sirius looked down. It wasn't Fudge's body. It was his own, the one that James and Lily said had been sucked into some black hole of death or whatnot. It looked just like his spirit had. For a moment he wondered if he had simply failed to take over the Minister's body, but now he was dressed in the same steel grey robes Fudge had been wearing. Only, only they fit. Perfectly. His hands flew to his face. Yes, he could feel it all. His nose, his cheekbones, the stubble from not shaving that morning. "I thought you were going to give me Cornelius Fudge's body!"

Lily laughed, nodding. "You do have his body. See? It's no longer on the ground."

Sirius looked back. The grass was simply grass.

"In fact, if anyone came over right now," James said. "They'd think you mad for talking to yourself."

"They can see me?" But if everyone thought him dead...

"Yes, they can see you. Hence the purpose of having a body." Lily strode to his side and plucked a blade of grass from his shoulders. Shoulders covered in Fudge's grey robes. "But they won't see you, Sirius Black. They'd see Cornelius Fudge."

The Polyjuice Potion didn't work that way. Sirius fingered the robes' edges disdainfully. "But I look like me."

"And to us you look like you," James said. "Which is why you look so good. Come on, we're not so cruel that every time you look in a mirror you have to see Fudge's ugly mug. We know how vain you are."

Sirius smiled. Yes, he was vain. One of his few flaws. "Thank goodness." Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. "So when do I get to see Harry?"

"Harry." Lily smiled, gazing off to the Quidditch field. "Oh, this will be wonderful. You were a great guardian for him, those times you were around. You can see him anytime you like, I suppose."

"If he survived the Ministry incident." How had that ended? "Your list... he didn't die, did he?"

"Nope, he's a tough young man," said James. "He's going to live awhile, if all goes well."

"And you don't do anything stupid," Lily said.

James blushed.

Harry. Remus, everyone else. Excitement flooded Sirius' body. Fudge's body. Whatever. But if they thought he was dead. "Do you think they'll believe who I am?"

Silence.

"You're still on about that?" James asked.

"It's the entire point of me coming back, isn't it?" He paused, questions filling his mind. "What about whomever killed Fudge?"

Lily opened her mouth to speak, but another voice sounded through the air.

"Minister!" It was a man, different from the late Henders, rushing at him with a face red and dripping with sweat. Bigger than Henders, as well. "Minister!"

Instinctively Sirius prepared himself for the man's scream at the sight of Fudge's body. Then he remembered that he was the one with the body. Only the body didn't look like Fudge. He tried to concentrate on what James had said. It wasn't true, was it?

The man stopped just before him, panting for breath. "Mr. Fudge," he managed between gasps. "There's been..." Another painful gasp.

Sirius stared. The man was addressing him. He looked around. James and Lily had vanished.

"There's... been... an..." Gasp. "Accident."

There had been two accidents. But it didn't look that way.

Oh, this was going to be fun.

"An accident?" Sirius practically shouted the words. It sounded like his voice, but if this guy couldn't tell the difference on appearance, why would voice matter? "You've come to interrupt my short walk, my one moment of peace, for a silly Quidditch accident? Why can't you just contact the medics?"

The man stared back at him, flabbergasted. But he seemed too out of breath to care much. "I'm so sorry, Minister. But...but it's not that kind of accident."

"Okay, so some moron got his nose broken by another bludger. It happens all the time and no one else comes running to me." Sirius wondered if he were being too cruel. But somehow the fact that he himself had just died somehow desensitized him to death. Lily had said heaven was nice, anyway. Henders would be fine.

"I... Mr. Fudge, please. It's Bandlin Henders."

"Who?" Sirius couldn't resist.

"The... the head of the Department of Magical Horticulture, sir. He's..." The man finally had the breath to speak properly. "He took a bludger to the head. Killed instantly." He looked to the grass, some semblence of grief welling up.

That was kind of sad. "Oh. That's terrible. Forgive me for my shortness. Are you positive he's dead?"

"Sir, trust me. They may never get the stains out of Brinkerhoff's uniform. Or get him out of counseling. He was playing Seeker for the other team and was the closest one to Henders."

"Oh, dear." What a way to go, poor fellow. "I'll be there immediately. His family... is anyone seeing to them?"

The man wiped at the sweat on his brow. "Henders was single, Mr. Fudge."

"That's fortunate." Sirius pushed past the man and headed back to the Quidditch field, the man tagging along behind him.

"You don't think one of You-Know-Who's followers had cursed the ball?" the man asked.

Why did everyone know Voldemort was back? "Of course I don't. Our sports equipment is well-guarded."

The field was in chaos. People were crying, fainting, or on the field bugging the Healers for a closer look at Henders' body. No one even noticed Sirius, except for an occasional glare seeming to ask "Why didn't you do something?"

Not like it was his fault that brains were now splattered over the field.

A tall, pristine-looking older woman finally paid him attention, and instantly marched over the field toward him. Her curly, greying hair was cut short around her scalp, and a tight smile cut through her thin face. She looked almost--Sirius couldn't be sure--surprised to see him. "Well, Cornelius, the seventh annual family Quidditch match is off to a wonderful start."

Someone addressing him by his first name. Sirius panicked. How was he supposed to know all these people?

"Aspen DeChant," she said, extending a hand, which Sirius shook. "I didn't think you'd remember me, considering how drunk you were New Year's. I work in the Department of Magical Transportation." She sighed and wiped away a tear. "It's a sad time for reintroductions, don't you think? Ah, and you are..." She nodded at the man that had been following Sirius around. "Eldon Pratt. Is that right? I think my husband knows you or something."

The man now known as Eldon Pratt gave a quick nod, his attention back on the Healers who were in the process of retrieving Henders' body.

"And to think, Minister, that you had just been speaking to poor Bandlin. We were all wondering where you were." DeChant sighed and examined her fingernails. "I'm so heartbroken about this."

She didn't seem to be, Sirius thought. Of course, everyone grieved in different ways.

He felt a tap at his shoulder. It was some young man he didn't recognized. "Minister, we need your signiture for the accident report." He shoved a slip of parchment and a quill dripping with ink into Sirius' face.

"Oh, of course." Sirius stared blankly at the parchment and the quill. There was a line where his name needed to be. Well, sign away.

He was almost finished when he realized he had signed "Sirius Black."

With a grumble he scribbled it out and shoved it back to the man. "This thing doesn't required my signiture."

The young man blinked, mumbled an apology, and ran off.

"Some people," DeChant said.

The novelty of the bludger accident was wearing off. How many other people were going to come bother him? Where the heck had James run off to? Maybe it was time to make an announcement.

Clearing his throat, he climbed on top of a bleacher. "Hey!" he shouted.

The chaos paused and all turned to stare at him.

Perhaps "Hey" wasn't the most Cornelius thing to say. At least he had their attention. He continued. "This accident has been most regrettable, I admit, but panicking is only going to make it worse. We will all mourn the loss of..." What was the man's name again? "Bandlin Henders and his contribution to the Ministry. But let's get his body taken care of." Yeah, the body that wasn't beyond the veil. "So please let the medi-wizards to their jobs. In fact, I believe that the rest of our wonderful players no longer wish to continue the game, so as of now the match is over."

Everyone continued to stare.

"I think we should all go home." He waved his hands at them. "Shoo. Counseling, for those of you who need it, will be made available through the Ministry. By contacting Mr. Pratt here."

Pratt gave a jump. "But sir--"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I trust you to handle it. If you can, there might even be a promotion in store."

Pratt smiled. "Yes, sir!"

DeChant gave a short laugh. She seemed very confused.

The command had worked, any way. The various people were packing all their things together and heading out. Good riddance.

"Good job, Sirius."

Sirius jumped as James appeared at his side. "Where have you been?"

James shrugged. "I wanted to see if you could handle it. Oh, I envy you right now. I really do."

"There's a lot to envy. This is fun, but I don't a soul here."

"Hey, you asked for it. And it's only temporary."

That was true. "Yeah, just a romp and then I get another body. Right?"

James smiled, sidestepping some teenagers as they passed. "Right. Just don't destroy the government."

"Oh, that's the best part."

"Mr. Fudge?" Pratt seemed very worried.

James laughed as Sirius considered smacking himself.

"It looked like you were talking to no one," Pratt continued.

Sirius forced a smile. "I'm sorry. Just a little stressed from all of this."

James had once again vanished.

"We all are, sir. Perhaps you should go home as well and allow the medi-wizards to finish up here."

Home. Where did Fudge live, anyway? "This is going to sound silly, but I'm so horrified by this that I don't really--"

Pratt wasn't paying attention. "Your secretary just handed me your portkey. He worried you might not feel up to Apparating, what with You-Know-Who and now this."

Portkey. Whatever genius had thought those up... lucky the Minister was allowed to have his own. He took the small box that Pratt offered him and opened it. Inside lay, of all things, one of those tacky commemorative galleons. That was the Minister's personal portkey?

Oh, well. He prepared to pick it up.

Unless... he remembered what had happend to Harry the other year during the Triwizard Tournament. Whomever had killed Fudge might have created the portkey.

But when would they have the time to do that, if they had killed Fudge five minutes ago?

Holding his breath, he grabbed the Galleon.

He wound up in a huge sitting room, all white and gold and as big as a house. Gold-framed portraits hung on the wall. Sirius gave a low whistle. Fudge was apparently wealthy. He jumped onto a couch. It bounced splendidly beneath him.

"Master Cornelius?"

Sirius tumbled off the couch.

"Ee! Is Master Cornelius hurt?" The pointed face of a house elf stared down into his, her large green eyes gleaming with fright. "Do you need Deena to fetch the Healer? Though Mibby is qualified in many healer skills. Should I fetch him instead?"

For crying out loud, how many house elfs did Fudge have? "No... Deena." He sat up, rubbing his head. "I'm all right."

Deena stepped back, still studying him worridly. "Is you sure, Master Cornelius?"

"I'm sure." She was a heck of a lot nicer than Kreacher had ever been. "Thank-you."

Deena didn't look satisfied, but she sighed in defeat. "You is welcome." Then her ears perked up. "Me thinks Mistress Tawnya is coming."

Barely had Deena finished speaking when two white doors that practically blended in with the walls were thrown open and a girl rushed through.

"On, Corny!" she squealed in a high-pitched voice. "I just got an owl about what happened at the match and I was so worried you'd be hurt." She flung her arms around Sirius' neck. "I'm so glad to see you safe and sound."

Sirius couldn't move. Had he just been hugged by some strange girl?

Then, to his further horror, she planted a kiss right on his lips. "This makes me so happy!" Finally, she backed away, giving Sirius a chance to get a good look at her

She could hardly be any older than nineteen or twenty, by the look of her. Pretty, he supposed, in a rather trashy way. She had auburn curls, and lots of them, teased and sprayed until they were triple what they should have been. She wore clingy violet robes over... good grief, she was about to spill out. Blushing, Sirius turned away.

The girl he supposed to be Tawnya grinned flirtatiously. "I bet none of your first three wives fawned over you this way. Or got so worried over their hunny-bunny." She pinched his cheek, forcing him to look at her.

This was Fudge's wife? Gingerly he pushed her hand away. "Of course not. Dear."

She giggled. "You're so funny. But I can imagine you are so tired. Should I have one of the house elves run a bath for you?"

That actually sounded nice. Minus making the house elf do it.

"Deena, go tell Mibby or Lono to run my husband a bath."

The house elf ran to the door.

"No, Deena, I can do it myself."

Deena stopped.

Tawnya giggled again. "You're so silly. Well," she cuffed her hand under his chin. "I'll be in my bedroom, if you need me."

They didn't sleep in the same room? Wonderful.

"Master Cornelius seems a little lost," Deena said. "Deena has chores to do, but I shall get someone to take to your own room. So you doesn't get lost in the basement. Again." She went to the wall and rapped twice.

"You called?" Another house elf, slightly bigger than Deena.

"Ardy," Deena said. "Master Cornelius isn't well, not at all."

Ardy the house elf smiled happily. "Not again, Master Cornelius. Well, that is why you has us, sir. Come, follow Ardy."

The house elf led Sirius through an utter labyrinth of halls. It was worse than Hogwarts. And each one was disgustingly and lavishly decorated. Perhaps Fudge didn't have so much taste. Finally, they stopped before a door. "Here you is, sir. Call Ardy if you need anything." With that, Ardy vanished.

Sirius opened the door to a bedroom even bigger than the sitting room. And it was all green and white and brown. Oh, well. Perhaps it was high time for the Minister's home to have some redocoration. And at least Tawnya wasn't in it.

He still couldn't believe this was working. He wanted to scream with joy. But that would probably just summon a house elf. So he just fell back on the giant bed. Now all he had to do was contact Harry.

But what about the person who had killed Fudge?

* * *

**SHOUT OUTS!**

**_Aerinha: _**Thanks!

**_Arwench: _**Well, wait until you see which particular lady Sirius will be having fun with!

**_Avalon Estel: _**You know, I completely forgot about what Luna and Harry heard! Very good point.

**_Dr. Huff-Puff: _**Hey, Sirius had the idea to use Fudge as well, so you can't fully blame James. And yes, Harry doesn't trust Fudge at all. So there will be problems there.

**_hydraspit: _**Well, I do have a few things in mind for Sirius to do...

**_Jamie McFly:_** Gah! Don't you dare reveal future story bits! You are priveledged to know!

**_Krenya: _**I hope it will be fun...

**_Lady Kazaana: _**Inuyasha is sexy!

**_Lady Meriadoc:_** Well, that's what he did! He's a Marauder, Marauders do evil like taking over the government. )

**_Libby Bird:_** Thanks!

**_meenyrocks: _**Oh, boy. I don't think Sirius would have ever taken a woman's body (though I suppose he would feel very pretty.) But that is a great idea! v-babe24 actually suggested Fudge.

**_milky way bar:_** Yup, body hunting is fun! Thanks!

**_Phillipa of the Phoenix:_** I suppose I could find a way to make Sirius taking over Fudge's body angsty and dramatic... but that wouldn't be any fun!

**_rosepetal13: _**I actually haven't read any stories on Sirius' afterlife, either.

**_Satine-cm: _**I'm thinking about doing a sequel! We'll have to see. Yes, Sirius in charge of all that is magical. Oh dear.

**_Tabitha78_**: Thanks!

**_TeenTypist:_** Thanks! My cousin actually came up with using Fudge's body. I thought it would lead to horror and chaos, so... yeah.

**_Tru Lys:_** Actually, I am one of those people in denail of Sirius' death, but I'm fine with writing this. I don't know, I'll have to wait for someone to say.

**_v-babe24:_** You remember who the problem child is! The person whom you called me up to notify of the problem. The problem I'm not getting rid of.


	4. The Assistant

Sirius didn't mean to fall asleep, not as fast as he did. One moment he was completely conscience, plotting ways of getting hold of the Order and the next he found himself awakening to the surprisingly loud knock at the door. He blinked his eyes and focused dimly on the textured ceiling. His house didn't have a textured ceiling.

"Master Cornelius?" a tiny voice squeaked from outside, sending out another loud round of knocking. "Master Cornelius, is you awake?"

Who was calling for Cornelius and why?

Groaning, he climbed off the bed.

"Master Cornelius Fudge?" The voice sounded vaguely familiar.

Fudge. He let out a yell and tripped back against the bed. It was Cornelius Fudge. The Minister of Magic was...

Him. He felt his arms shaking against the soft bedcovers. His own arms. The same arms he had always known. The memories flooded back in a violent storm. He had... died, according to James and Lily. And he had taken over Fudge's body.

What the heck had he been thinking?

"Is you still sleeping, Master Cornelius? Mistress Tawnya mentioned you at breakfast. She had me send some up, Sir."

House-elves. He was completely surrounded by house-elves. Carefully he glanced at the mirror. It still looked like him, only he was still dressed in the now-wrinkled grey robes of Cornelius Fudge. Eh, that was fine.

The bloody house-elf was still at the door.

"Come in," Sirius called. "Ah..." Which one could it be?

"Tis Ardy, sir! With eggs benedict!" The door opened, and the house-elf Ardy appeared, carrying a silver tray piled high with food.

Good grief, how much did the Minister eat? Ardy set the tray on a small table next to the bed and gave a low bow. "Me hopes you enjoys it, sir."

Sirius faked a smile. Eggs benedict had never been one of his favorites. The side of bacon, on the other hand, smelled divine. When had he last eaten? "Thank-you, Ardy."

Ardy gave a deep smile. "You is welcome, Master Cornelius. You has better hurry and eats it. You is already running late for the Ministry."

The Ministry? He had completely forgotten. But the Ministry wasn't his concern. Despite the sinful temptation of going. Well, he could probably contact Harry or Dumbledore or Remus easily from the Ministry. He was all-powerful, wasn't he?

"Good day, Master Cornelius." The house-elf gave another deep smile and left the room.

That creature smiled too much, Sirius suddenly thought. He picked up the bacon delicately between two fingers and sniffed it. Didn't smell wrong. But that didn't mean anything. He stuffed it into a flower vase, half-expecting the ugly thing to wilt over immediately. It didn't. Dang, but he was being paranoid. With a swift strike of his hand he knocked the vase to the floor, where it shattered.

Despite the lack of breakfast, it was a nice way to start the day. Now, the Ministry of Magic.

The hustle and bustle of London was strange to emerse himself in. Over and over again he repeated to himself the fact that he was indeed Cornelius Fudge to the rest of the world. He must have actually mumbled it aloud once or twice because people did stare at him as he approached the telephone booth. Oh, the lack of manners in this world. At least they weren't screaming "murderer!" and calling the Dementors. He punched into the phone keys, half-wondering if this was truly how Fudge went to work. To use something as trivial as a telephone.

Well, it would be fun to run into the main area and shake things up a bit.

"Welcome, Minister," the calm voice replied to him.

Even the magic phone knew who he was. Nice.

"You shall be taken directly to your office."

The stupid phone had never been that nice before. Except he didn't want to go the office. "Wait, no--"

"Have a nice day, Minister."

The next thing he knew he was in his office. Fudge's office. What had to be Fudge's office. It was even worse than the bedroom, keeping with the same hideous color scheme. But... not bad. Not bad at all. Even though it seemed all of Azkaban could have fit comfortably inside. A desk the size of a bus sat against one wall, the polished wood all but blinding him. Random cabinets and chests filled other walls, save for one that was half occupied by a giant stone hearth. In the center was a large patch of green with a flag and a hole. Sirius studied it, trying to remember something Arthur Weasley had once mentioned. Muggle golf? Since when did Fudge play Muggle golf? A large mirror sat above the desk, reflecting him as Sirius Black. Maybe he should have changed the clothes; they weren't him at all.

But not that bad for an office.

He ran to the desk and opened one of the drawers. Parchment. Important-looking parchment. Greedily he yanked out a sheet and read it. Something about... oh, it wasn't that important. Fudge was dead and clearly wouldn't mind. Sirius rolled the parchment into a ball and tossed it into the fire. Then he returned his attention to the desk. There had to be something useful. And he still had to get a hold of someone.

Then he found what he was looking for. A mostly full canister of, all good things, floo powder. Hopefully it wasn't some contained hex for another attempt to kill him. He darted back to the fire. He could check the Gryffindor common room... no, he no longer knew what date it was. It could be summer, for all he knew.

A knock on the door. Couldn't anyone just open a door. "Minister?"

He sighed and shoved the floo powder into the corner. He recognized that voice. Percy Weasley. He had forgotten he worked there.

Percy's voice changed its tone with a disproving sigh. "Minister, the assistant that Order of the Phoenix sent is here."

"Assistant? From the Order?" What was the world coming to?

"Minister, they came up with this a month ago. You agreed, sir. I hate it as much as I do but--"

"Oh, for crying out loud," came another familiar voice. "I hate it as much as both of you but at least I'm working with it."

Sirius felt sick. The floo powder would have to wait.

* * *

This was the absolutetly the worst assignment that bloody Albus Dumbledore had given her. She dug her black boots into the carpet, hoping to leave some trace of mud. If she had to be miserable doing this "noble mission for the good of the Order", one could very well bet that everyone else was going to miserable as well.

Percy was still frowning as he talked at the bloody Fudge's door. No, not frowning. The same furious look of utter contempt and humiliation that for some reason he had to direct at her. It was the one he had given her the moment she had stepped in, along with a supercilious "Oh, Miss Tonks."

She hated the "miss" title. Which is why she had come specifically dressed to annoy. Goth. That sometimes scared people away. It wasn't her at all, but a little blackening of the hair and the right clothes could it work. She had even made her skin unusually pale.

She knew very well why she had been given this assignment against her will. To keep her out of the way. Anything else anyone had said was a bunch of crap. Instead of getting to be locked up with Molly Weasley baking cookies or whatever and still managing to trip over something, she was being sent with the expressed purpose of "Keeping the Ministry in line." What for? They believed well enough that Lord Voldemort was back.

But no, they couldn't be trusted. Yeah, right. They could only be trusted to babysit Tonks the clutz. This wasn't proper auror work at all.

She wished Sirius was around. For a moment she glanced at the carpet, taking in the muddy footprints she had managed to leave. She couldn't let that blasted Percy see her tearing up. If Sirius was around, he probably would have talked Dumbledore out of the stupid idea. That's the way he was. Couldn't get Dumbledore to leave him alone, but was always willing to stand up for others. He was her mother's cousin, and like her was so different than the rest of the bloody Black family. Her mum's cousin. Pathetic Tonks had always felt so close to him. Then, of course, her mum and dad had always held that awful private joke that if Andromeda had been on good terms with the family, Tonks and Sirius would have probably found themselves dumped in an arranged marriage. Tonks choked back a laugh.

Percy was still talking. "You agreed, sir. I hate it as much as I do but--"

This was too much. On top of being this lousy job, on top of Sirius dying, on top of whatever else hell had to throw at her, she was not going to listen to all this bull from Percy. She shoved him out of the way and yelled at the door."Oh, for crying out loud, I hate it as much as both of you but at least I'm working with it."

Percy stared at her. He didn't seem to be wanting to say anything. Good. She flashed him a smile. "I thought Ministry employees were always kind to their guests."

If looks could kill....

But there wasn't time for that. The door finally opened, revealing an obscenely large office in the most lavish shade of green.

"Ah," she said. "I see. You got lost on the way to the door."

Cornelius Fudge gave a weak nod. He seemed... surprised to see her.

She frowned. "You know I was coming, Fudgie." Normally she wouldn't presume to act that way, but the rest of the staff was sufficiently scared... besides, with all the things Dumbledore was now holding over the heads of the Ministry, she pretty much had run of the place. "Now, first things first. You are continuing to keep the newspapers informed of You-Know-Who's return? No trying to pass it off as a media joke?"

Fudge looked highly confused. For a moment, anyway. And then he was glaring at her all the impudence possible.

What an ass.

"The papers," Fudge said. "Have more than enough Voldemort news to keep them happy for the next century. Miss Tonks." It was clearly an afterthought.

Percy turned an awful shade of pale. "Sir, you spoke his--"

Voldemort. Tonks stared at Fudge. He had said the Dark Lord's name. "Comfortable saying that?"

"Er..." Fudge's pathetic eyes dropped to the ground. "We as a wizarding community must face facts! Learn to say You-Know-Who's name properly!"

Oh, this was just lovely. The almighty Minister of Magic was going from some happy little coward to fancying himself to be some almighty warrior. Just because of that awful night in the Department of Mysteries. "Trying to soak up some credit, are we?"

Silence.

"I don't have to stand for this!" Cornelius finally shouted. He tried to slam the door, but Tonks blocked it with her boot.

"And I have a job to do."

Fudge gave a dark grin and kicked her foot out of the way. She lost her balance and tripped. "Hey!"

Too late. The door was closed.

Percy cleared his throat. An obvious attempt to block a laugh. "Should I make you an apointment for tomorrow?"

She ignored him and marched to the exit, trying hard not to cry. She was going to kill Dumbledore.

* * *

_Do you peeps think Tonks is too OOC? This is what I imagine she might be like in a really bad mood..._

_**SHOUT OUTS!**_

**Aerinha:** I'm afraid there may be a revolution with Sirius running things. )

**Avalon Estel:** I always thought Fudge was rather shallow and would actually marry someone like Tawnya. And it is kind of macabre. I'm that way... I love a bit of darkness.

**Dot the Distracted: **Sirius the Bodysnatcher. Thanks so much for saying that. Teehee.

**Dr. Huff-Puff:** Fudge's killers are still on the loose. In fact, you've already met one of them.

**Harry Hippie: **(stares at Harry Hippie, then slaps forehead.) Where were you in the planning and brainstorming time?

**Jamie McFly: **Would you like Tawnya more if she were named Henrietta?

**Krenya:** But what if Sirius _wants_ to be traumatizing?

**Lady Kazaana: **You are morbid. )

**Lady Meriadoc:** Hey, it is a white trashy name, isn't it?

**Libby Bird:** Yeah, poor Tawnya. All she wanted was a little money and glamour. So sad.

**meenyrocks:** Yup. Harry hates him. But I promise there will be bonding.

**scared-of-mimes: **Yup. It is a blatant rip-off of _Down to Earth. _Thanks for being okay with it.

**Phillipa of the Phoenix: **...what do you want Sirius to do with the trashy wife?

**xPussyWillowKittenx:** Don't worry, Sirius is above a girl like Tawnya. He will be causing utter chaos AND solving the murder.

**Satine-cm: **Teehee. No, I don't think Sirius would let Tawnya hang around very long at all!

**TeenTypist:** Thanks!


	5. The News

_Sorry this is kind of a filler chapter, but I needed some sort of bridge to the next events._

_I also put in a reminder of who Aspen DeChant is. (Lady met at Quidditch game.)_

_2/21/5_

* * *

Sirius leaned back against the door, panting heavily. What the bloody hell had he just done? To Tonks, of all people? His upper arm throbbed from the door had slammed against it, due to her stupid little boot trick. Really, the girl had ought to join some proselyting religion. She would do well as a missionary.

But... Tonks? He could barely think. All he could see was her in the horrible little goth outfit parading around the Ministry... what was she doing here? Of all the people he had expected to see...

Well, he was certainly having issues. What had he expected? Compete and total strangers? Wasn't the reason for coming back to actually see everyone again? He took a deep breath, trying to sort out his mind.

Well, it had been sudden. She had practically thrown herself into the room. She was famous for that. Though admittedly she wasn't usually so angry about it. If he reacted like this around people he actually knew well... no, he hadn't behaved so badly. He had been quite calm about the whole thing. Save for the door slamming thing at the end.

He laughed, all worry flooding out of him. Tonks was about to see a side of Fudge she probably didn't expect. Especially now that she was working for him.

"Tonks is working for me." It was strange to say aloud.

He was confused again. Slowly, he made it to the desk. The cushion was very comfy. That was the one thought he let himself have. He ran his fingernails down the length of the desk and took a deep breath. How long had he been dead? How long had the world been going on without him?

Tonks was working for him. As an assistant. But it didn't seem that way. She had been the one bossing him around-and Fudge was supposed to be the leader of the entire magical community of England! Apparently she was worried about Voldemort-and telling the world that he was back.

He took another deep breath. It had been in the papers. The papers had been printing that Voldemort was back. And apparently Fudge knew about it. The Ministry was trying to get everyone to realize that Voldemort was back.

Victory for the Order.

Something must have happened after he fell through the veil.

What else had happened?

"Mr. Weatherby!" he shouted in the gruffest voice he could summon. Ron and Harry had told him that little nickname Crouch had given Percy. Why wouldn't Fudge use it? "Weatherby, get in here!"

There was a long pause before the door opened a crack and Percy's freckled face peaked in. "Yes, Minister?"

"You have failed to brief me this morning."

Percy blinked. "I... Mr. Fudge, that's usually not one of my duties."

This was kind of fun. "Well, it is now. So do it immediately. Oh, and send an owl off to Albus Dumbedore that I need to meet with him as soon as possible." Dumbledore. He could trust Dumbledore, couldn't he?

"Which do you want first?"

"The briefing."

Percy looked very confused. "Well, er, Miss Nymphadora Tonks that the Order sent over would have given you their information, but... nothing major has happened. We still have a large number of Death Eaters in Azkaban..."

"Death Eaters in Azkaban!" Another victory.

"Yes, including Mr. Lucius Malfoy. Though I don't think the man we replaced him with is doing anything..."

It took Sirius a moment to realize that Percy meant Malfoy's job at the Ministry. "Oh, okay. And how are the responses to Voldemort's return doing?"

Percy didn't seem to want to discuss that. "As well as they could be, though..."

"Though?"

"It doesn't concern you, sir."

"Of course it does."

"You're still being mocked for not mentioning this earlier, especially when Harry Potter blabbered it around."

Sirius leaned back in the chair, smiling. "Ah, yes. Harry Potter. We have him to thank for all of us, don't we?"

Percy looked ill. "Uh, yeah. Should I send the owl soon?"

"I'm surprised you're not already on it."

Percy gave him a long stare, then closed the door.

Things were going well, Sirius thought. Very well. The Order had even managed to sneak someone into the Ministry, albeit Tonks. Not a bad choice, though. Not bad at all. He was certain she would prefer the warriro glory all aurors dreamed of, but as a confidant inside the Ministry... she was going to do an excellent job. Of course, that was because he was now here to help.

Though working in the Ministry couldn't possibly be her cup of tea. He gave a bitter laugh. She should try an life sentence in Azkaban.

He stood up and returned to the fireplace. He could try the Dursleys.. no, they didn't have a fireplace. The Weasleys. The Weasleys could reach him. He opened the jar of floo powder and tossed some into the flames.

"The Burrow!" he shouted, and stuck his head in. Oh, how he loved the tickle of the flames.

The familiar kitchen of the Wealeys appeared before him. Empty, except for a redheaded figure sitting at the table eating a sandwich. Ginny.

Sirius loudly cleared his throat.

Ginny gave a start. "Um... my dad isn't here."

"I'm looking for Harry Potter. I must speak with him."

For a long time Ginny stared at him, frowning. Then, with all the spite a Weasley was capable of, she jumped to her feet and walked to the door. "He doesn't want to speak with you." And then she was gone.

He pulled his head out. Harry? Not wanting to speak to him? That couldn't be.

Unless he was Cornelius Fudge instead of Sirius Black.

There had to be someway to get a hold of him.

He heard a voice behind him. He flipped around just in time to see the door slam, just after the flash of a familiar woman.

Aspen DeChant? That woman he had met with Pratt at the Quidditch game. Just after taking this body.

He stood up and ran to the door, throwing it open. Percy was outside, talking to someone that the real Fudge might have recognized. Both turned to look at him.

"Did Mrs. DeChant just come threw here?"

Percy frowned. "No, sir, there hasn't been anyone demanding to see you."

"But she just came into my office..."

"Mr. Fudge, I would have seen her." Percy stood up, looking very worried. "Are you feeling all right?"

"I feel fine," he lied. "Just get the owl off to Dumbledore." He returned to the office.

Parchment was kept in the desk. He pulled out a sheet and a bottle of ink and quill.

_Aspen DeChant_, he wrote. Then he scribbled over it. She couldn't have killed Fudge.

Maybe he did need Tonks' help.

* * *

**SHOUT OUTS!**

v-babe24: Death to Fudge! Even though he is already dead!

scared-of-mimes: Sorry. It was an accident we couldn't bare to change.

Phillipa of the Phoenix: Yes... that is foreshadowing...

milky way bar: Yeah, poor Tonks. Technically, she is in there because they really did think she'd be the best for it, but she doesn't see it that way.

meenyrocks: Thanks! I'm going over Order of the Phoenix again for better understand of Tonks' personality. I just hate stereotyping people to the only moods we see.

Lunatic Pandora1: Don't worry; I despise that ending and have something completely different in mind.

Lady Meriadoc: Thanks so much for approving of Tonks!

Lady Kazaana: Whoot!

Jamie McFly: I thought you would appreciate the goth.

hydraspit: Eh, Sirius' temper will get a lot worse.

Dot the Distracted: Maybe Zombie Sirius could change his friends into zombies. No, there really isn't any particular order of update. I usually realize I've ignored a story and update it in a panic.

Chailyn Cole Runewood: He'll be happy about Tonks being there later, I promise.

auburgine: Thanks for being honest. It's hard to do Tonks, I suppose. No one can be chipper all the time, and I hate stereotyping characters when we only see so much of their personality in the books. It's hard to find a happy medium. Actually, Tonks is not in there because she is a klutz and they want to get rid of her. Her assignment with the Ministry is very important, and actually entails a lot more than she knows. She is there because they thought she would be the best one for the job because of her talents and skills. She just doesn't see it that way. So, yeah, she is mistaken. As for the arranged marriage... it was never real, just a very dark family joke among the Blacks that happened before Sirius was imprisoned. And for them being related... it's a long and complicated accident. By the time my cousin realized it, we were all too attached to the story. So bad on my part. And just between you and me, I love Tonks/Lupin.

Arwench: I suppose you're right, but I've always thought of Sirius as kind of... immature. Sorry about the word. I shall spell right next time.

Alavon's Child: Yup, she's annoyed.


	6. The Headmaster

"Dear, I don't think that it can be that horrible of an assignment." Molly set the dish of steaming scalloped potatoes on the table, just missing Tonks' hands, who flicked them out of the way just in time.

"No more horrible than hot dish burns," Tonks replied dryly.

Molly gasped. "Oh! Did I burn you? I'm so sorry; my sons usually know better so I just assume... Here, let me just run to the medicine cabinet and-"

Tonks had to laugh. "No, no, Molly, it's fine. You didn't get me. I was just-Oh, Molly, I've been completely out of it all day."

Molly nodded and moved the dish, accidently shoving it into Ron's fingers.

"Ouch! Mum!" Ron's fingers hot into his mouth.

Harry laughed. Ron shoved him with his elbows-hardly a threat.

"I hardly blame you, Tonks," Harry said, stomping on Ron's foot. "I still can't believe that-" Tonks sensed a lovely curse word coming, but Molly was already burning extra scars into Harry. "-that idiot is getting the credit he is. Like Voldemort just barely came back."

"I hear ya, Harry." Tonks grabbed one of the serving spoons Molly had set on the table and shoved it into the potatoes. "Y'know, maybe me and you should just take off and fry his place tonight. If you let me ride your broom, of course. You still haven't let me yet."

Ginny, who had just entered the room, gave a sharp squeal. "Ooh, bring me if you do that!"

Dang, but that girl had spunk. "Okay, you too, Ginny."

Molly shook her head, eyes blazing, much to the snickering of Ginny and Ron, and slammed the bowl of garden string beans on the table, beans jumping everywhere. "You had better be joking. Including you, Nymphadora."

Ron rolled his eyes. "Mum, of course we were joking. We're not gonna-"

"Well, you're not even going to pretend to be doing anything of the sort. We need to do our best to be on good terms with the Ministry during this time, and flaming bags of niffler dung on the Minister's porch is not going to help."

"Actually, Mum," said Ginny. "The way things are going, the Ministry is practically bending over backwards for us. We could do anything."

"That's true," Tonks heard herself say. Oh, not in front of Molly Weasley.

Molly shook her haid. "If it were true, why would we need you keeping an eye out in there?"

Because they apparently don't want me anywhere else, Tonks thought. She really needed to get over this, but it was just so hard. It would be a heck of a lot more interesting to be out there fighting giants or whatever.

"Tonks, I don't want to hear another work about this."

"Huh?"

Molly frowned. "I know what you're going to say. You were an incredibly young Auror. They've sent you off into dangerous," she gave a small shudder there, "dangerous situations before. The Order trusts you, so if you mention the word 'babysitting' one more time-"

Tonks buried her face in her hands, hiding the laughs that were forcing their ways through. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry," she mumbled into her palms. She put them down for air. "Molly, it sounds so crazy coming from you. You're right." Then why wasn't that the way she was feeling earlier?

"Good. Now lets actually eat this dinner I worked all afternoon to prepare."

"Mum, you used a spell," Ron pointed out. "And Dad's not even here yet."

"Then it's too bad for him. If he works when he says he's coming home for once for lunch-"

"Dinner?" called Arthur Weasley's voice from outside. The door flew open, and in entered a red-faced Arthur, followed by Albus Dumbledore.

Hadn't Tonks vowed to kill him earlier? She shrank into her chair. Awkward, awkward. Suddenly, all her worries and accusations seemed incredibly stupid. Molly was right. Dumbledore wouldn't ship her somewhere just to get rid of her.

Then why didn't he ship someone else off to Fudge's office?

"Albus!" Molly said, standing up. "I didn't expect you. Won't you join us for lunch? Ginny, grab another plate for Professor Dumbledore. It's roast beef, my own recipe."

Dumbledore's nose lifted to smell. "Mm. Well, that does look delicious."

"And I did invite him over," Arthur said, giving his wife a kiss on the cheek. "Sorry I didn't get a hold of you earlier."

"Of course, it's no trouble at all," Molly said with a laugh. "We already have Tonks over."

"Ah, Tonks!" Before Tonks was aware of it Dumbledore had her hand in his and was pumping it up and down. "So how was your first day at the Ministry?"

She shot him her best smile. "I walked out."

His own smile disappeared. "Walked out?"

"Actually, they threw me out. I had been in there no longer than five stupid minutes."

His frown deepened. "Hm, well, that's too bad. You'll just have to try harder tomorrow."

Tomorrow? "Dumbledore, is this assignment really necessary?" Wrong thing to say.

Dumbledore let go of her hand, his blue eyes digging into hers. "Tonks, this is very important. We cannot afford to not have one of our own so up and close with Cornelius Fudge. And they have agreed to it as well. You are the go between. I trust you completely in this assignment." Then the smile was back. "Besides, we thought it might be fun to torture the poor man with you."

For whatever reason, Tonks had to smile. Did the man really want her in that office?

"Now," said Molly. "The lunch is getting cold, and I actually have a mission to feed Harry properly this summer he's with us." She began shoveling potatoes and roast beef onto Harry's plate.

"Yes, we probably should be getting around to dinner. If-"

An owl flew through the window and perched on the back of Harry's chair, holding out its leg to Dumbledore.

"From the Ministry," Dumbledore said softly, pulling off the message and reading it. "Speak of the devil, it is from Fudge."

"Probably a complaint about me," Tonks sang. Maybe this would be fun.

"No, no, girl, it's addressed to me." He sighed. "He says it's urgent, that he must speak with me."

"Must you leave already?" Arthur asked.

"It's just Fudge," Ron said.

Dumbledore stared at the letter, then sighed. "Sorry, Molly, but I can no longer ignore Fudge. I'll go there immediately."

Ginny leaned over to Tonks. "We'll send something as soon as we know Dumbledore isn't there."

So Ginny was still intent on the prank thing. Well, that sounded okay. She hadn't hung out with the kids for awhile.

* * *

Sirius sighed and bit his lip, wishing again that there were some way to just... douse the fire and make that bimbo Tawnya just stop talking.

"So then Cerulean told Dream all about what Misty's husband had said- Oh, Cornelius, I just wish you could have been in there to hear it in person!"

The gossip session or the Wireless Wizarding Network's soap opera? Those were the two conclusions had come to.

"Anywho, we're all just so horrified. Misty should leave him, I'm sure. But he is rich. Not as rich as you are, honey, but Misty does like her house-elves. We'll just have to be extra nice when we go to their dinner party next Friday. Poor dear. Speaking of the dinner party, I really must find you a new robe to wear. Your old one is just getting so... unfashionable."

In the name of all that was good and holy... how did Fudge put up with this?

"Also speaking of dinner parties," Tawnya gave a sickeningly flirtatious wink. "If you are home early tonight..."

A knock came at the door. "Sir?"

Percy again. Sirius could have kissed the boy. "I'm sorry, Tamra, something has just come up."

"Who is Tamra?" Fire blazed in the lady's eyes- and not from the surrounding hearth.

"My pet name for you, sweetheart." Not a bad save. "It's like... the tree." Wasn't that a tamerisk?

"I'm like a tree?" She sounded exceptionally flattered. "Well, goodbye, dear. I'll see you when you get home."

Finally, she was gone.

"Not bad-looking, actually." James stepped out of the corner of the room.

"If you're into all that awful magical surgery," Lily joined him. "But I must say, Sirius, you're putting up with her quite well."

Sirius nodded. "We sleep in different rooms. Thank goodness. Exactly how long have you been watching?"

Lily paused to think. "About the time she brought up the neighbor's dog. We still haven't found a suitable body. Though if you really do plan on helping the Order, that won't matter for awhile."

"So you're planning on just leaving me in this body?"

James shrugged. "Nah, but come on, you haven't even done anything fun yet. And speaking of fun, Dumbledore is outside, waiting for you to invite him in."

Sirius blinked. "Dumbledore is here?" Finally, someone to talk to.

"I'm not sure he'll believe anything you say," James said slowly. "Because I know that's what you're thinking."

"I'm not-"

"Sirius," Lily said, shaking her head. "The last thing the Order needs to think the Minister is crazy."

"But this is Dumbledore!"

Percy knocked again. "Sir? It's Albus Dumbledore. He got your owl."

Sirius sneered at James and Lily. "Send him in, Weatherby."

Lily sighed.

The door opened and a rather stiff-looking Dumbledore walked in. "You called for me?" he asked, just as stiffly.

Sirius took a deep breath. Lily and James were still there. Didn't Dumbledore see them? Of course not, they were angels. "Hello, Albus." He extended his hand.

Albus shook is. "Hello, Cornelius. Haven't met with you in a while."

"I know, it's been a long time. Should I have my assistant bring in some-" What did Dumbledore like to drink?

James strode across the room and moved his hand up behind Dumbledore's head in bunny ears.

Sirius choked back a laugh.

Dumbledore frowned. "Are you sure you're all right?"

James made a face, then was yanked away by his wife.

"Yes, I'm all right," Sirius said. "I mean, no. I mean- actually, I'm more worried about how Harry Potter is doing?"

Dumbledore looked surprised. "I didn't know you were concerned with the boy's welfare."

"Well, I do feel I owe him an apology." This was ridiculous. "Dumbledore, do you know who I am? Ouch!"

Lily had smacked him across the face.

Dumbledore took a step back. "Are you sure you're all right?"

Lily had been right. The Order really was going to think him crazy.

"Yes, I'm all right. The office was infested with... invisible mosquitos."

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "Right. Well, I would hardly consider myself an expert in the department of invisible mosquitos, Cornelius. You are Cornelius Fudge, by the way. You just asked me if I know who you are."

Sirius took another deep breath. This was it. "Dumbledore-"

"Don't you dare say a word," James said.

"I'm not Cornelius Fudge."

The eyebrow went up even further. "Oh, then exactly who are you?"

Lily slammed her hand over Sirius' mouth, but he shook her away. How must this look? "It's me. Sirius."

The room went silent.

"I beg your pardon?" Dumbledore asked.

Sirius suddenly felt very dizzy. But he stepped closer to Dumbledore. "I meant what I said. I'm Sirius Black. The real Fudge is dead."

"Don't say anymore," James commanded.

"This isn't funny," said Dumbledore. "Perhaps I should have your assistant call up St. Mungo's. No, perhaps it's best I see it through myself-"

"Albus!" Sirius grabbed his shoulder. "I'm back. I wasn't supposed to die. James Potter was being an idiot. I'm not lying."

"Mr.Weasley," Dumbledore called, spinning around and marching towards the door. "Mr. Weasley, we really should-"

Sirius jumped in front of him. Wow, this whole thing did sound insane. "Everything is fine in here, Weasley. Dumbledore, please. Just listen to me. I am Sirius, just in the Minister's body. We came when we found Harry and Hermione and everyone else had gone to the Department of Mysteries. Because he thought I was in trouble. I'm his godfather. Peter Pettigrew framed me-"

Dumbledore didn't seem to be listening. "Minister, I really must go. And you should go lie down. Quickly." He dodged Sirius and opened the door.

This was impossible. He had proved it, hadn't he? The Minister wouldn't know those things. Of course there were always ways, Sirius supposed. "Albus, you need to believe me."

Dumbledore paused, the door knob under his hand. "Good day, Minister." He stepped outside and shut the door.

"That went well," Lily said brightly. "Sirius, what did I tell you?"

"You could have appeared and helped," Sirius said, dropping into his chair. "He should have... he should have believed me. What did I say that was wrong?"

"Everything," said James. "Sirius, this is why we warned you about this kind of thing. Just... do whatever you want, but it's not wise to try and make people believe you really are who you are."

Sirius slammed his fist into the table. It hurt. "Well, if Dumbledore won't believe me..."

A knock at the door.

"That's getting so irritating!" Sirius screamed.

A pause. "Sorry, Sir. Just... another urgent message." An envelope slid under the door.

Sirius stared at it from across the room. Then, slowly, he stood up and retrieved it.

"Who is this urgent Ministry business from?" James asked.

Sirius shrugged and opened it. Instantly a most foul odor filled the room, increasing as the small scrap of parchment slid out. He coughed and looked at the note.

_We have been investigating the source of this smell, and thought the very head of the Ministry should be made aware._

He laughed.

"What is it?" Lily asked.

He held up the letter. "Tonks' writing."

* * *

_**SHOUT OUTS!**_

**Aerinha:** Aspen DeChant is a woman Sirius meets at the Quidditch game.

**ArcherofDarkness:** Thanks! I'm glad you like Tonks. She's hard to do, because we only see about two moods in the books, so it's hard to figure out how she might act under other emotions.

**Arwench: **I promise you character development. Feel free to smack me around if you've any complaints with it. And for the last chapter... I'll see what I can do with it. Maybe remind everyone who Aspen DeChant is again. Thanks for being honest.

**duj:** Heck, he seemed immature as an adult. He might as well be immature dead.

**EternallyLost: **Thanks!

**hey:** My excuse is that they are second cousins. And I believe I did mention it.

**Krenya:** It's a little too fun. The whole Tonks/Sirius thing was a complete accident. My cousins and I were thinking of characters, and it slipped our minds that they were... related. But by the time we found out, we were all too much in love with the pairing and had pretty much based the story around their character clashes. So our excuse is that second cousin marriages are often legal, and it is the Black family.

**Lady Meriadoc: **Yes. Because I am a sick and twisted person, there is something going on between Sirius and Tonks.

**meenyrocks.** Well.. you just saw the Dumbledore meeting.

**milky way bar:** Hooray for filler chapters!

**scared-of-mimes: **He and Harry shall meet soon enough.

**Tabitha78:** Nope, you didn't jump the gun. I just have issues. You've already met some of the real murderers...

**xPussyWillowKittenx**: Yeah... but I couldn't not bring up the Weatherby thing.


	7. The Prank

Maybe it was just his own wishful thinking going a step too far, but Sirius was up half the night waiting, just waiting, for an owl to swoop into the Minister's bedroom, or the fireplace to swirl into action, or that freaky house elf Ardy to run in with a message from no one else but Albus Dumbledore. And the message would be an apology, or an explanation that he really did believe Sirius was Sirius but wasn't allowed to admit it due to spies. Or something.

There was no way Dumbledore could not believe him. No way possible. He had to believe. Everything he had ever said. Who else could know that but he himself?

Maybe Sirius just hadn't tried hard enough. Maybe if he brought up all the horror stories that had given Dumbledore such a headache back in the good ol'd Marauder days… no, a spy could possibly know that.

It was next to useless. Every possible thing he could say could either be due to a very clever spy, insanity, or perhaps a combination of both.

It wasn't fair. Was there anyway to get Dumbledore to believe him? Or Harry, for that matter.

Something of an idea struck him at dinner, where Tawnya was all but luring him up to her bedroom; she put a special emphasis on _her._ It was perhaps one of the more sickening displays Sirius had ever seen. He was almost flattered, when he forgot that she couldn't see him and only saw the body of her husband Cornelius Fudge. Sirius wasn't bad looking, if he did say so himself. After all, how many hearts had he broken at Hogwarts?

But she didn't see Sirius Black. She just saw Cornelius. So Sirius came to the conclusion that she either really loved her husband, was somehow turned on by a pot belly, or a very devoted gold digger. Hopefully not a combination.

That would just be all kinds of wrong.

But there Tawnya was, all but hanging out, gazing simperingly at him over a… lemon chicken meal, was that it?

"I spent hours in front of the mirror just for you, dear," she breathed.

He tried to force a smile. It wasn't that Tawyna wasn't pretty, but she was also just… and Sirius couldn't take another man's wife, even if he actually wanted to. If she wanted to stare at herself in the mirror all day…

Mirror. He swore right then and there.

Tawnya gave a little cry and stared at him. "What are you using that language for?"

He shook his head and shoveled some chicken into his mouth. Chicken always had been good. "Oh, nothing. I just remember something that happened at the Ministry today."

"It must have been horrible, for you to act like that in front of me!" Good, he had her upset.

"No, no, not horrible. No, yes it was. Too horrible for you to concern yourself with."

She forced a smile. "Because I'm your little tree, aren't I?

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Yes, you're my tree." Wow, did he just say that?

But the mirrors… how could he have forgotten about the mirrors? The ones he and James had always fiddled with, when in detention. Greatest source of communication yet. He had given Harry that one for Christmas.

But where was his own mirror now?

Had he had it on him when he fell through the veil? No, he probably would have remembered that, taking it with him. For all he knew, he had been in too much of a panic about Harry and the other kids to grab it. Of course, he still might have. That didn't mean anything.

"Cornelius?" Tawnya, trying to communicate with him. "Why aren't you listening to me?"

"Huh?" He stared blankly at her.

"I thought we could go upstairs."

Please, no. "Actually… dear… I have a…" He needed an excuse. "I have a headache. Sorry."

"Oh." Her face went stony. "I see how it is. I heard you were talking to that DeChant man's wife at the Quidditch match the other day."

"She's a business associate!"

"I don't want to hear it." With that, she marched away and slammed the door of the dining room behind her.

He could hear her sniffling.

Perhaps he should feel guilty.

Nah.

* * *

The next morning, all the way at the office, and still no word from Dumbledore. It was obvious now. The man had no real desire to believe him.

There had to be some way.

But if there was a way, wouldn't Sirius be out looking for it, rather than actually going back to the Ministry? Well, maybe something lucky would happen today. Heck, Tonks was coming back. Maybe. If he hadn't scared her away last time.

No, not Tonks. He knew her too well—well enough discounting the years he had spent in prison, of course. But she had spirit. She was a good girl, a true auror. Too determined for her own good. She'd be back. After all, she sent that note last night.

Percy was already waiting for him with a list of complaints when Sirius strode into the office. "Some of the Department Heads, Sir, are not at all pleased with working with the Order. As you probably already know."

"Of course I know that. I'm not stupid." Wow. He really needed to act like an adult and stop torturing the poor kid. But he had never really liked Percy much anyway. No offense to the rest of the Weasleys.

Percy frowned. For a moment it seemed that famous Weasley temper would erupt. No, didn't look like it. "I know that, Sir. But some of them feel we're giving them too much power."

"Weatherby, I'm not even in my office yet."

"But Sir, they're not happy. They think this really needs to be discussed."

Sirius sighed and glared at him. "And who do you work for? Me or them?"

"I…" Percy rolled his eyes. "Sir, this concerns you as well."

Why did Percy care so much?

"Percy, please."

"But—"

Those Minister of Magic powers could probably kick in now. Enough to make Percy shut up. "Actually, I've decided to put the Order completely over the whole Vol—You-Know-Who incident. They actually know what they are doing."

Percy stared at him.

"Really?"

Both men turned. Tonks was already there. Dressed somewhat professionally, even. Not the goth disaster of the prior day.

"Miss Nymphadora!" Sirius said. "You're here early today." Actually, he had no idea what time she was supposed to arrive.

She forced a smile. "I've decided that this is important not just for the Order of the Phoenix, or just for the Ministry, but for everyone. So we're actually going to work together."

Percy seemed ready to protest. Apparently he couldn't.

* * *

Tonks had amazed herself by actually going into the Ministry that day. Molly and everyone had been right. She had no right to be immature about this. No matter how she felt about the assignment. Heck, it had been bad enough to spew out that line just then about working together.

But she was an auror. And aurors did what needed to be done to fight dark wizards. Even if it meant working with equally unsavory characters.

But at least Corneliius Fudge seemed to be at least thinking about coming around to their side. It couldn't have been a show, that line, about putting everything under the Order's jurisdiction. She had just been walking in.

"You really mean that?" she asked, ignoring the glare from Percy.

"Of course I mean that," Fudge said pompously. "Besides, it's less for us to worry about around here. Why do you think we denied the whole thing so long?"

Now that was definitely true. Because you're stubborn morons? But she couldn't voice that aloud. So instead she just smiled. "Of course."

"Oh, Weatherby?" Fudge asked, returning his attention to Percy. "Send a message to the members of the school board. Tell them that I want to get that law changed about no magic during holidays."

Percy's eyes went wide. Tonks felt her own widen as well. That was an idea. As a student she had always whined about the rule. But now she could sort of see the logic behind the law. But Fudge.

"Sir," Percy said. "Do you think that's appropriate?"

"I'm the Minister, I say what's appropriate. Now go."

Percy nodded fearfully and grabbed a quill and a sheet of parchment, upon which he scribbled something. "I'll just go make copies… somewhere else." He headed to the door.

"You want to change that law?" Tonks asked.

Fudged shrugged, laughing. "Eh, I could actually care less. Wasn't there when I attended Hogwarts, but oh well. And like the law will be changed anyway. I just wanted to scare him away and get him among people."

Percy was just barely out the door, his back to them. Before he finally disappeared, Tonks spotted… she blinked. No, it couldn't be.

The floating words "Kick Me" at his back.

She couldn't stop herself, but doubled over into a laugh. What in the world was going on here? She glanced at the Minister. No. It couldn't be. Not in a million years.

"I was bored," he replied. "And no one's going to take advantage of it. Everyone's too stressed. At least, I hope so for his sake."

Tonks continued to laugh.

"It'll wear off in half an hour, anyway. I've already done it to half a dozen people, just on the way in."

She nodded, trying to get a hold of her breath.

The Minister sighed. "Well, let's forget that. What do we have to talk about today?"

She had been given some news bites. "Well…"

"Let's do it over some brunch then. I haven't eaten yet."

She blinked. What was with Fudge? Oh, well. She had skipped breakfast as well. "Okay. Brunch sounds good."

* * *

**

* * *

SHOUT OUTS!**

_xPussyWillowKittenx:_ Yay for invisible mosquitos. Something will be going between Sirius and Tonks (as bad as it is) but it hasn't quite happened yet…

_Willow Evenstar:_ Well, the others aren't completely stupid.. but it probably will take a while considering the guy looks like Fudge and Sirius is supposed to be dead. And thanks for your compliment about Tonks. I really appreciate it. It's been hard to get her character, because we've only seen so much of her from the fifth book, and… it's just hard because everyone seems to have a different idea of how she should act. So thanks!

_scared-of-mimes:_ You know what… I actually haven't decided yet if he can transform! I don't know if the animagus spell applies to the body itself, of if it just a spell. Hmm.. Thanks for bringing that up. Now I've some pondering to do.

_Phillipa of the Phoenix:_ Yay for Tonks! Though I'm still trying to get her character. And Sirius needs to listen more often!

_meenyrocks:_ Don't worry; he'll eventually find some decent proof.

_Marquerida:_ Someone will believe him. Eventually.

_Lady Meriadoc:_ You know, it really is a scary thing. But could you imagine Sirius as Bush?

_IamSiriusgrl:_ Thanks!

_hydraspit:_ Eh, I can handled flattery. I've been busting my butt to add in all the criticism points and that, so that's fine. Thanks!

_Aerinha:_ Yes. We have one confused Dumbledore on our hands. Of course, maybe he just didn't admit to believing Sirius.


	8. The Meal

_This chapter goes out to Marquerida, my 100th reviewer, and everyone who helped me get to that point! Thanks so much!_

_Also, if you get confused in this chapter, just remember two people with the initials of J and L._

* * *

I just agreed to have brunch with the Minister of Magic. The thought ran repeatedly through her head, a sick tormenting of her own insanity, as Tonks followed Cornelius Fudge through the labyrinth of halls that made of the Ministry to whatever little in-house restaurant was available. The employee cafeteria, she imagined. Wouldn't that be the dining experience to write home about. Not that it mattered either way to her. But judging by the way man was acting, she wouldn't be surprised.

Though apparently everyone else was. What did it look like to him, someone like her trailing after the most powerful man in the wizarding world of Britain? The stares she received were enough. Not that she minded them. That's right. She was with the Minister. She was the one forcing him to do random business he probably didn't want to do. And she was the one somehow roped into eating with him, despite the fact that she had agreed to the meal. So if they wanted to say one word…

She choked back a laugh, hoping no one could read that little semi-fantasy. Heck, she wasn't even being paranoid. But she couldn't laugh during this situation, especially when she had yet to see another victim of the Minister's sign prank. Nope. She just had to keep serious and remember her duty to the Order. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

The employee cafeteria was right ahead. Eh, it didn't look like too bad a place to eat.

The Minister even slowed down, preparing to enter. Did Fudge actually eat there?

"Oh, really?" he said softly, barely a whisper.

Tonks blinked. That wasn't directed at her, was it? "Excuse me?"

Fudge looked back at her, somewhat embarrassed. "Oh, just talking to myself."

Maybe the bloke was crazy. Even some stranger stared at him, allowing a semblance of disrespect into the atmosphere.

Then he just kept going, past the cafeteria.

Okay, what was up with that? "Excuse me, but we just passed—"

Fudge laughed. "Oh, the cafeteria. No, no, this is a proper business luncheon, and since it looks like we're going to be stuck together till this whole mess with the Dark Lord is sorted out, we might as well do things proper. You can't think that the great Ministry of Magic of Britain just as a measly cafeteria, you know."

She hadn't actually thought that, but if he wanted to act all high and mighty, well, he was the Minister.

"Now, this," he said, about two minutes and a dozen corners later, "Is where we'll be eating."

She raised an eyebrow, impressed. Not bad. Not bad at all. A dark red door, paned with shimmering glass, opened up into a small area that looked like it had been ripped from some charming little street corner. "I guess you do have things better than the cafeteria."

Fudge shrugged, smiling. "Nice, isn't it? I didn't even know about it my—"

"You didn't about something in your own building?"

A slight blush rose into his face. "Oh, of course I knew about it. I just haven't thought about it in quite some time. In fact, two of my… associates recently reminded me that I should show up and offer some patronage from time to time."

Tonks looked over her shoulder. They had passed the busy area of the Ministry, and the current hall was empty except for them and a couple of people already in the restaurant. But Fudge… had he been _glaring_ at someone? Dang. Dumbledore really needed to know of the Minister's current state of mental health. Nah, she couldn't be too mean. The moron had finally gotten around to admitting Voldemort was back. Of course he was stressed and a little out of it.

Of course, that didn't explain all those things he had said to Percy.

She followed Fudge into the restaurant. It was even prettier inside, all fake countryish and that sort of thing. Just cute. Normally that wasn't her taste, but she hadn't eaten at a truly nice place since graduating from her auror training. "You know, Minister, you really don't need to treat me to all of this."

He waved her words away, shaking his head. "Nonsense. I'm feel terrible about the other day—no, make that the past several years. So I'm actually going to cooperate with your little Order of the Phoenix and even Albus Dumbledore. And since I understand you to be the go-between, we might as well get to know each other."

There was something very odd about the way he said that, but Tonks couldn't quite put her finger on it. Almost…familiar.

Maybe she was going crazy.

Without even waiting for the waiter, they made their way to a small table, just across from another group of frumped-up Ministry workers—probably Department heads.

"I figure if we sit this close, we'll make them uncomfortable," he said with a grin.

She grinned back. "Okay…"

Menus popped up from the table as they sat down. Oh, she hoped they wouldn't be in French or something. It didn't look like a French place, but who knew. Maybe she should just leave. She opened the menu. No, perfect and plain English. At least she wouldn't have to make the Minister translate anything for her. Like during a…

She shook her head. What in the world was she doing here? What was she even thinking? Just because Fudge had done something so outrageous she had to laugh didn't mean she had to be here. Forget "getting to know one another", this was going to be downright awkward! How was she supposed to discuss news over a meal with a guy she barely knew? And one that was this famous?

Now she was in a pickle. She sighed and put on her best fake smile. "So… what's good here?"

"I haven't the slightest idea," he mumbled.

"I thought you had—"

"They changed the menu recently, and I haven't tried it yet."

"Really?" She poured over the list. "At least it actually has a 'brunch' menu."

Fudge nodded gravely. "We should get something horribly expensive to make those people over there feel even more uncomfortable."

Tonks snuck a glance at the other table. They were trying very hard to send over their own discreet looks. They looked about ready to faint.

"They've…eggs. And stuff." Fudge was still looking at the menu. "There's this omelets that sounds pretty good."

Tonks almost giggled. Why was he talking this way? He sounded so… ordinary. Man, she was going to have some stories when this day was through. "Omelets are good. Are they expensive?"

"Expensive enough, if we get this fancy juice cocktail thing with it. And sandwiches. Yes, let's get a plate of sandwiches just for the heck of it." He put the menu down and looked around, rather confused, before calling the waiter over and proceeding to bark out the menu to the poor man.

A laugh escaped her in a horrible sort of snort. Thank goodness it was after the waiter had left.

"What's so funny?" Fudge asked, fiddling with his silverware.

"You." Was this respectful to say to the Minister? Too late, it was coming out. "I'm sorry, maybe it's just the fact that I've never really been around you. Playing pranks and then bossing people around."

Fudge turned a deep shade of red. "Well, I'm allowed to do that, and I doubt anyone's gong to say anything to me. I figure if I can get away with it…" He closed his eyes and swore under his breath.

Tonks stared.

"Damn, this is awkward. Well, yes, what I said. It's too hard to be in my position and not relax every now and then, you understand. And then there's the fact that I really don't know you all that well despite—" He coughed, an obvious attempt to end his thoughts.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He grabbed his glass of water and forced it down. Then he flinched, and drank more water. Then, he muttered something. A wonder he didn't choke. But what he said…

"Knock it off, Prongs?" Now she was very confused.

"Excuse me?"

"Isn't that just what you said?"

He stared at her, mind running behind his eyes. "No."

The man was either seriously ill or a heck of a lot more fun than she had imagined. "Oh." She forced a smile. "So, what do you want to talk about?"

"Sirius Black." A very strange look came over his face as he spoke. Almost like it was some sick joke, almost.

Sirius She almost choked herself. Why was he bringing up Sirius? He had no right to do that! But he didn't know anything about Sirius. So she just had to shut up and stay calm. "Why Sirius Black? That…" It was difficult to get the words out. "That murderer?"

"There haven't been any more sightings of him, not as many as I would have expected."

Of course not. Poor Sirius was dead. How dare he talk about him. "Perhaps he's just lying low. Besides, I think it should be your Ministry's duty to find him before he… rallies with other Death Eaters."

"We have the important Death Eaters in Azkaban," Fudge said stubbornly. "We just need Sirius."

"Then find him yourself." No, she couldn't get mad. She took a deep breath, concentrating on the pink strands of hair that had fallen into her eyes. "We… we don't believe Sirius Black to be a threat any longer." Why had she just said that? What was she trying to ruin? "We believe the Dark Lord would have already… sacrificed him or something for his cause." Oh crap. She had not just said that. Before she knew it her face was buried in her hands. What a way to make her lie obvious.

Fudge was silent for a moment. "Oh. I understand."

She peeked between her fingers. He looked sincere enough. "You do?"

"I trust the Order on this own. Though still, I wish you would take my advice. Perhaps you could pass on to Dumbledore a little message.

"What message?"

"I just think it would be wise if Dumbledore and the rest of the Order were a little more open to any news, even rumors, of Sirius Black sightings. Any at all could be helpful. Sirius murdered the Potters, you know." He gave the slightest roll of his eyes.

Tonks put her hands down. Had she sensed… sarcasm? No, no way.

"I also think Harry Potter should be open to that. After all, he's in the greatest danger, being that Sirius Black was his godfather."

If Tonks didn't know any better, she'd almost think the Minister was hinting at something. "So… that's your message?"

"Yes. Even if you think Sirius Black isn't a threat, keep half an eye open for any possibility. Any."

She gritted her teeth and nodded. "I'd love to." Sirius was dead. Nothing was going to change that. Why should they keep a lookout for him? But if pacified the Ministry…

Their food finally arrived. Omelets. Expensive omelets. She did like omelets. "These are my favorite food."

"I know."

She dropped her fork, which hadn't even made it into her omelet yet. "How did you know?"

He shrugged. "I guessed. You looked like an omelet person. So… I understand that you were actually related to Sirius Black."

Couldn't he stop bringing this up. "Yes. Second cousin of mine. Never really knew him all that well."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I guess it… I guess it surprised us all when he turned out to be… what he was." Great. Now he had her going. "He was always pretty nice to me, when I saw him, when we were growing up. I was just a kid when he… did what he did." It really had hurt, then. Hearing that Sirius had killed all those people. Even when she had learned the truth, it still had hurt so much. "It's amazing how people can surprise you that way."

Fudge sighed. "That's very true. Though I suppose… and this is hard coming from me, in my position. You can imagine how I feel about Black. I suppose he didn't do what he did to offend you personally."

She met his eyes, surprised. "I… guess you're right. I never thought about it that way before." 'Course she hadn't. Especially now that she knew Sirius was innocent, and he was dead anyway. "Thanks."

"So," Fudge continued. "Is Harry handling the news that Sirius is his godfather any better?"

More with Sirius. "He's… I don't think he really even thinks about it."

"Hmm. I suppose it gets in the way of things. Especially with all the things on the poor boy's shoulders. He's tough, amazing for handling the things he does."

That was it. Tonks had thought herself calm enough—up until that point. How could he say that about Harry? He couldn't just help spread all those horrible rumors and call him crazy, and then turn around and do this hardly a month later.

Fudge was waiting for her to reply.

No. She couldn't think that way. Fudge had been surprisingly open about Sirius. Perhaps he had his own reasons… if he was finally coming around, she had to accept that and help him. She couldn't…

She couldn't calm herself down in here. She smiled. "Could you excuse me for a minute?"

The hall outside was still despairingly bare. Well, that was good. Just a quick walk, and then she could return to her brunch.

This really was a secluded area of the building. Not a soul. It was creepy. Probably reserved for the higher authorities of the Ministry. Kind of nice, actually, to be sneaking around in this kind of place. If only…

An echo bounced off the wall in front of her, from around a corner.

Ah, so someone was around. She stopped, held her breath, and listened.

"I don't know why he didn't die," a woman was saying. She sounded older, the snotty kind. "It's a bloody miracle, you know. And not the kind that impress me."

"He could have missed, you know." A man, now. "Though it's hard to imagine. He said he saw the Minister fall. Of course, he Apparated right after that, so that doesn't mean anything. But"

"But you'd figure if Cornelius Fudge falls after being struck with the Killing Curse, it would mean he was dead. The Dark Lord already had the trouble of that Potter brat not dying, but at least there was a reason for that, odd as it may seem. But this… this I don't know what to make of it."

"Aspen, we really shouldn't be discussing this here. Just keep working with that house-elf of his. He should have poisoned him yesterday."

"No one cares what we discuss here, no one comes here." A sigh. "Look, just tell them that we will do our best to have Cornelius Fudge dead."

* * *

**SHOUT OUTS!**

**_xPussyWillowKittenx:_** You know.. you're on the right track with that thought!

**_rockstarhobbit:_** Thanks! I guess it is strange. The movies I based it on are psychotic.

**_milky way bar:_** Poor Sirius indeed.

**_meenyrocks:_** Ah, so now you are calling him mean names! Poor Percy.

**_Marquerida:_** Tonks might figure it out. )

**_Lady Meriadoc_**: Hey, Sirius has died, and before that, was locked up in prison. He needs a chance to finally have some fun.

**_Irish Lady Knight:_** Teehee. I'm not even sure what inspired the kick me signs. But I couldn't resist.

**_IamSiriusGrl:_** Thanks so much! Oh, yes. The "new and improved" Fudge will certainly scare people.

**_hydraspit:_** Nope, I have never stuck Percy quite in this position before. It feels strange to be mean to him. Because I do love him. But it's fun. And it works, because I never thought Sirius thought very highly of him anyway.

**_ArcherofDarkness and Callie:_** Actually, we don't know if Dumbledore believes him or not. Perhaps he was just acting like he didn't.

**_Aerinha:_** Well, I hoped in this chapter that Tonks did get somewhat confused by the whole thing. She's a smart girl.


	9. The Suspicion

_Sorry! I realize now I should have just stuck this with the last chapter. Oh well._

* * *

She didn't seem to be coming back. Sirius checked the clock—the gold plated grandfather model that hovered like a phantom (what a disturbing idea to consider) just before the wall. It had been ten minutes, at least. This was ridiculous. True, he hadn't had much time in the past several years to properly get to know Tonks, but it had never struck him that she would be the kind of girl to spend hours in the bathroom. Especially with her metamorphmagus abilities. He stabbed cruelly at the omelet, watching the eggy parts crumble away.

"I think you severely scared her," Lily said. "Oh, Sirius, I'm sorry about that. I didn't think—"

He shrugged. "You weren't the ones provoking it. Dang, did I really sound that crazy?"

James laughed nervously, eyes on the door. "Sirius, I never meant for you to actually talk back to us."

"Maybe things would work out better if you would just show yourself."

He snorted. "Sirius, Tonks has never met me, as far as I know. I believe she would be more confused than anything."

"So you're allowed to torture me and talk to me while she is around, but you only exist to make me look like I am insane?"

"I believe that pretty much sums it up."

Sirius rolled his eyes and shoved a piece of omelet into his mouth. He had never particularly cared for omelets—any breakfast food, for that matter, and had only ordered those because apparently he remember Tonks really liking them. And how exactly would Cornelius Fudge be privy to that information? Well, it didn't matter. He supposed he could come up with some story of spies and… dragon armies, if she ever asked.

If she came back.

"How could I have been so stupid!" he shouted.

The couple across the way and the waiter stared at him. He smiled back. "Stressed," he said. "I'm sorry to worry you."

The waiter didn't seem impressed. "Minister?"

"I'm fine. I promise."

Lily snorted back a giggle.

This was getting ridiculous. Was this truly what happened to people when they died? Did they have to become so immature? It was like they were all back at Hogwarts, the year they had finally managed to rope Lily into their wild little games. What had happened to protecting Harry? Helping the Order? Their son was at stake here.

Or perhaps it was just the fact that he was having brunch with a woman that was so entertaining to them.

"Really," Lily continued. "We warned you about this. You have to be careful. No one can think you're crazy. At least, no one else."

There was a reply to that, he had one. One just waiting to come out. But she was right. He already had three people thinking him nuts. This wasn't going to work.

But Tonks… Tonks was on his side, so far. At least she didn't seem to hate him quite so much as before. She had said once that she had never particularly cared for Fudge. Was a simple laugh out of her enough to warm her up to the Minister?

She wasn't getting suspicious, was she? No. How could she get suspicious when he had told Dumbledore flat out who he was, with no proper reaction at all?

"Tonks," he muttered under his breath. "Where are you?"

"We'll no longer tempt you," James said. Somehow the earlier torturing expression had faded into something more serious. "Please, just watch out for Harry." He and Lily vanished.

Harry. If only he could convince Harry. Maybe… maybe if he could get Tonks to like him even more, she could drag Harry to see him. Harry would have to believe him. Even without the mirrors.

The omelets were getting cold. Had he really upset her that much? He replayed the conversation in his head. Him, going on and on about himself. Like a bad date. Except that she had no idea who he was. All she had known was that the Minister of Magic wouldn't shut up about her dead friend.

Why couldn't he tell her who he was?

Fifteen minutes. He shook his fist at the clock. Was he just being impatient? No, she was his last chance. If she even thought about breaking out of here… He stood up and left the restaurant.

"Miss Tonks?" he called into the hallway, letting his voice ricochet off the walls. Great. He looked mad without Lily and James. Well, this was more fun than he was allowed in Azkaban. Where was she? Well, if she were running off, she wouldn't hang around there.

The halls were so blasted empty. How did one even make it back to the rest of the Ministry? He stared down one, wondering if he was just making up the sense of familiarity. They all looked pretty much the same.

Which one, which one? There was always the option of changing into a dog—he froze, like a statue frozen in a tunnel waiting for anyone to waltz up and stare at. Could he even still do that? Damn. Why hadn't he thought of that before?

There was no time for an experiment, however, for a dark shape came barreling up one of the halls. The concentration on his animagus form gave him no time to dodge it.

_Thud. _Tonks broke right into his chest. He fell against the wall, groaning with whatever air he could gasp for. She slid to the floor with a surprised cry, banging on her hands.

"Mr. Fudge!" she exclaimed. She stared up at him, eyes wide and whirling. There seemed to be something else she wanted to say, but she wasn't speaking.

He wasn't liking the way she was staring up at him.

"Tonks?" he asked.

Her eyes dropped to the ground as she panted. "I… Sir, I really need to leave." And her eyes were back on him.

She looked as if she had just seen a ghost. And he had just called her Tonks.

"Miss Tonks," he said again, aiming for whatever snobbery he could summon. "You seem.. upset…"

"Upset?" She shook her head. "No, I can't leave. Maybe you should hear this. No, you should definitely hear this."

He stared. She was still on the ground. This couldn't go well. "Here, get to your feet first, this is hardly proper." He extended out his hand.

She stared at it for a moment before accepting it and pulling herself up. "Minister, I really need to talk to you. Somewhere… private."

The halls were dead empty.

A slow blush came over Tonks, and she once again shook her head, pink hair whipping around here. "Good as any. In a moment, anyway." Her hands shaking, she reached with one hand into her robes and pulled out her wand, almost dropping it twice. "I really don't want anyone to hear this."

His heart almost stopped. She didn't know. If she were the smartest out of them… well, that was Tonks, how she was.

"Okay," she said, taking a deep breath. "I left… I just need a moment… and I came down here…" She stopped. "Minister?"

"Yes?" What was it now? What was she getting at?

"I'm up and I'm fine. You can let go of my hand now."

He looked down. He still her hand, the one he had used to help her up. How had that happened? "Oh, I'm most sorry." He dropped it.

For a moment she said nothing, only frowned at him. Then she shook her head and continued. "Minister… what happened to you?"

Oh, no. "I'm… not quite sure what you mean." Maybe he should tell her.

She glanced down the hall. He noticed her other hand was still shaking. "I really would like to know what is going on in this place. I just heard two people down that way plotting to murder you."

The murderers. He gasped. "Who were—"

She interrupted him. "Sorry to put it so bluntly, I figured you had best be told." Her eyes met his, harshly. "Minister, they said they had already killed you."

The voice from the bush… "Who was it?"

Tonks put her hand to her forehead. "I don't know. There… there was a woman. Sounded like an older lady."

Older lady. There were plenty of them around. Including that creepy one… Aspen DeChant, was that her name?

"But, sir," she continued. "They said they had already killed you. Avada Kedavra and all that. I'm not sure what to make of this. Especially when you are right here, before my eyes…" Her gaze went even harder. "I feel like I am missing something."

"What else can you tell me about these people?"

Her eyes flashed. "You don't seem to be very concerned about this. Surprised. I think one would be surprised to find out that he had been murdered. So may I ask exactly what is going on here?"

"I'm…" Why couldn't he say it? She had just thrown all her suspicions at him. If she… if only he could say it right now.

"You don't seem interested in talking." She sighed. "If I'm supposed to work with you, you need to talk. I like to think this is kind of important, especially since they plan to try and kill you again!"

He knew that. Of course he knew that. How could anyone in their right mind not be anticipating that kind of thing? "Well, if they tried it once then—"

She blinked. "You knew about this?"

He sighed, pushing back his hair. This was going to wind up worse than with Dumbledore. "Of course I… didn't." Curses! Why did he just say that?

For a long time she said nothing. "There is something not quite right about you." She turned to leave. "Maybe we should discuss this somewhere else. Unless there is something you're not telling me."

Yes! Yes, there was something he needed to tell her. Anything. "I'm Sirius." Wow. Where had that come from? He could barely hear it.

And Tonks was already half way down the hall.

He sighed. Why couldn't he tell her?

The Minister was hiding something, dang it. It was all she could do to keep herself from turning around and demanding to know what it was. But that wouldn't be good, not with how her heart was still racing from what she had heard. Her punishment for eavesdropping.

She tried to make sense of it. They had already tried to kill Fudge. Had used the Killing Curse on him, of all things. But he was alive. And acting very strange.

Those things he said while they were eating, about Sirius. Why did he have to bring that up?

The beginnings of a suspicion nagged at her mind, eating away with its disjointed meanings. There was something very wrong. If she could just put it all together…

But it couldn't be.

He was dead.

Right now there were other things to worry about. The Order had to know about this.

And she was going to discover Fudge's secret.

* * *

_(Yes, Tonks needs to be smacked upside the head. So does Sirius)_

**SHOUT OUTS!**

xPussyWillowKittenx: Yup. Aspen is EVIL!

Willow Evenstar: The sad thing is, I like making people wait.

Tru Lys: The whole Sirius/Tonks thing was a complete accident. I just… didn't know

who else to work with when my cousin finally called me up in a panic to tell me.

rockstarhobbit: Thanks!

meenyrocks: Oh, I was just giving you a hard time! Write however you want in your reviews!

Marquerida: Sorry. Looks like Tonks could put together 1 and 1 if she wanted to, but come on, she is still assuming Sirius is dead.

Lady Meriadoc: Lily and James need their fun as well.

IamSiriusGirl: Unless Tonks drives Sirius nuts first. )

Dante Lewis: Thanks! I shall provide you with all in the internet omelets you want.

blackmamuth: My official decision: Yes, we will see Padfoot the Puppy again.

ArcherofDarkness and Callie: Since I'm not feeling especially secretive right now.. it's the one he suspected already.

Aerinha: Well, she made some connections here. She'll figure it out. If only Sirius would say something.


	10. The House Elf

All that cleaning Molly had performed last summer and the house was still a mess. Tonks closed her eyes against the cyclone of dust that had arisen with the mere moving of a pile of laundry—formerly clean, but still to be dumped in the laundry pile. Disgusting. Who could live this way? But it seemed to be the very nature of the Black house. Even her childhood memories of the few occasions she had actually come here included room upon room of dirt, dust, and cobwebs. At least her father was just sloppy. "Dumbledore, no one knows of any spell where I could just flick my wand and the house would be spotless?"

He turned the page of the book he was reading and gave a short laugh, his eyes twinkling like they rarely did anymore. "Believe me, Tonks, even the greatest wizards have not been able to learn such a spell."

She sighed and delicately pulled a large spider from the corner of the drawer she had been emptying. "On that _Mary Poppins_ movie, she just snaps and everything is clean." Of course, that was a fictional Muggle movie, so everyone knew it wasn't real. It was common knowledge that the real Mary Poppins was much more proficient with a wand. "I guess I just hate cleaning."

"We all do."

"You're not even helping!"

He laughed again. "Not much of a threat, Nymphadora. It was your decision, your declaration to come to this God-forsaken place and proceed to go through all the bureaus. Quite unlike you. If I didn't know any better I'd say that you had something important to tell me."

A shirt, slippery with dust, fell from her fingers. Whatever had happened to her plan to come straight to Dumbledore with her news? Especially after Cornelius Fudge had become so conveniently distracted on the return to his office.

"Tonks?" Dumbledore set his book down.

Why in the world was he even up here with him? So she had come straight to Grimmauld Place when she had been informed the man was there. And so she had come, without saying a word to him. And yet, in typical all-knowing Dumbledore fashion, he knew. He knew something was up. She might as well start talking. She picked up the shirt from its fresh pile of dust. "It's about Fudge."

"It's always about Fudge," he said. "I'm sorry about this assignment, but is it really going so horribly for you?"

She shook her head instinctively. Not that day. It was just going… weird. The way he hadn't let go of her hand when he had helped her up. She almost shuddered. Disgusting. "No, not anymore. But…" Oh, she just had to say it. "I overheard something today. In one of the old halls of the Ministry."

He raised an eyebrow, attention suddenly and fully on her. It was not comfortable. "Oh?"

"Two people were talking. A man and a woman. Apparently one of them had tried to kill Fudge."

"There have always been assassination attempts. Why, I remember the time we had taken a trip to Dublin… some of those leprechauns didn't care for him. What a mess."

"It wasn't an assassination attempt!" The bureau drawer rattled from her voice. She hadn't meant to shout. "They had used the Killing Curse on him!"

He stared back at her. It was unnerving. This was Dumbledore. He wasn't supposed to look… so bewildered.

Of course, it did sound insane. Cornelius Fudge, surviving the Killing curse, like he were Harry Potter or something. She almost laughed. "Really, that's what I heard." So much for continuing a serious demeanor. "I know it sounds crazy…"

He waved his hand, muttering something under his breath. "Do you know who said this?"

"I didn't recognize either voice. But…" She took a deep breath, still marveling at how crazy this sounded aloud. But Dumbledore, he did seem to be believing her. So far. Or at least humoring her. This couldn't be good. "I asked him about it later. He seemed… he seemed to know something about it. Not surprised at all."

"The insane are never surprised."

She stared back at him, and this time the laugh did escape. "You think he's insane?"

He didn't reply for a long time. "I spoke with him the other day. He summoned me to his office. As he likes to do on occasion. He claimed he wasn't Cornelius. That was… someone else."

No. Dumbledore couldn't possibly have known what had crossed her mind. That Fudge was someone else… It was madness, pure and simple. "Apparently he is crazy."

"But you said they had used the Killing Curse. And that Fudge didn't deny it." He stood up, book falling to the floor. "Tonks, I didn't expect this kind of thing."

"Neither did I. Dumbledore, he's hiding something. I know he is."

"How has he been acting? Prior to this?"

Now that was a question. "Well, considering I've never really met the man before." She shrugged, thinking back to that day. "He's nice. Very nice, actually. I didn't think he'd be that nice."

Dumbledore nodded. "It's been the years that have changed him. I've always liked him. Before this mess, anyway. I guess being nice is something that can easily be hidden."

Dumbledore really didn't understand. She closed her eyes, wondering how he would react. If Fudge really were crazy, well, wouldn't this prove it? "He was casting "Kick me" enchantments on the back of people today."

"Fudge? Cornelius Fudge was doing this? Are you quite sure?"

Even the great Dumbledore didn't know what to think. "I'm positive. I saw him do it. He admitted to it. That's something I really didn't expect out of him. When you talked to him, who did he claim to be?"

For a long time he said nothing, simply watching her, as if afraid she would suddenly throw the bureau at him. Fudge had claimed to be someone else, that much was evident. Then he sighed and headed to the door. "I really must go and speak with the others."

Tonks grabbed another shirt out of the drawer and through it at his feet. "He told you, didn't he?"

"Is it really so important?"

Probably not. "Yes!"

His hand was on the doorknob now, in the process of twisting. He wouldn't even look back at her. "Considering all that has happened in the past month, I think it's best you not know the workings of whatever is going on in the Minister's mind."

"Why not? I'm working with him! I'm the most directly involved here."

"I don't think it matters."

It didn't matter? She felt her heated temper rising within her. "How doesn't it matter? Dumbledore, something is very wrong in that place. Fudge has a secret he isn't telling me, and I've just heard people say he's survived the same curse that only Harry has survived. You know that's impossible." Was it? "And they plan to try and kill him again."

Dumbledore stopped.

Tonks took a deep breath. She had to remain calm. If she really thought she was going to try and toss urgency all over this place, she had to be calm. "The only people I can imagine wanting to kill anyone so high up in the Ministry right now would be those working for the Dark Lord. If they are at so easy access as to try and kill him once, they are very close. We have to do something. We can't let him be killed."

A slow, serious smile had enveloped his face as he turned around. "And to think you had wanted the man dead the other day, from what I've heard. You're right, Tonks. He can't die."

"Do you have any ideas?"

"I'll figure something out. Just keep doing what you're doing, and use your common sense. Everything will be fine." He left the room.

Then how did he explain Fudge's innate ability to dodge curses? Her temper flared up once more, in the form of a pile of laundry, fresh from the dusty realms of the drawer, flung against the already closed door.

There wasn't supposed to be a crash.

Tonks gave a small cry and the tinkle of something breaking. There was only supposed to be clothes in there! She dropped to the clothes and began to fish through them. Ouch. She pulled her finger out and grimaced at the spot of blood. Something had nicked her. Something sharp, like…. Glass. Oh lovely. What had she broken? Gingerly she peeled away the clothes.

Shards of mirror were mixed in with the cloth and dust.

She swore. Everyone knew the seven years bad luck ordeal was Muggle fantasy, but this mirror was probably some ancient heirloom of the Blacks. And she had just crushed it.

Well, a repair would put it right, but the Blacks were so whiney about the littlest things. Her mother probably wouldn't care, but if that awful Narcissa found out. Or worse, Bellatrix. Though they could both go to hell, for all Tonks cared. Now who might the mirror have belonged to?

A wave of sickness flooded through her. This had been Sirius' room.

She closed her eyes, trying not to cry. This really was a bad day.

A knock came at the door. Someone probably asking about the crash. Or her swearing. She sighed and pushed the mirror-ridden clothes over. "Come in," she called.

The door opened, revealing the beaming face of a house-elf. "Mistress Tonks?" she asked.

Tonks stared. She had never seen the house-elf before in her life. "Who are you?"

"Deena, Miss," the elf said, curtsying. "My master is the Minister Cornelius Fudge, and he did ask that Deena come to give you something."

"Wait," Tonks said, climbing to her feet. "How did you get in here?"

"Too much time to use door of big ugly house, Miss, so I appeared in the hall. But it was still best that I would knock first on door where Mistress Tonks is."

No one was supposed to know where the house was. How much did they know? "But how did you find this place?"

"Master Cornelius told Deena."

Tonks sniffed. "Did Master Cornelius, now? How convenient."

Deena blinked, looking for the first time like she would rather not be there. "He asked Deena to bring you flowers, Miss."

"Flowers?"

A small bouquet of a rather unattractive flower combination appeared from behind Deena's back. "Yes, flowers. And an apology for today." She pressed both the flowers and an envelope into Tonks' hands.

Something wasn't right about this. How in the world did the house-elf know where to come? They had their own little powers of transportation, but still Tonks imagined they would need to know a place existed in order to come there. How did she know? She tossed both card and flowers onto the bureau behind them.

The two people had mentioned a house-elf. One of Fudge's house-elves was supposed to have poisoned him.

And this one seemed to be too smart for her own good.

Tonks pulled out her wand and in a flash had the house-elf completely immobilized. "How did you get into this house?"

Deena stared up at her, terrified. "I just… I just come! Like we house-elves always do. It is what we do!"

This could be very awkward. "Are you loyal to your Master?"

Deena nodded, almost crying. "Please, let me go! I would never hurt Master Cornelius! I is a good house-elf for him!" She snapped her fingers and was suddenly free of the spell.

Not until Tonks found something out. She sprang down, wrapping her hand around the elf's wrist. With difficulty. The creatures were surprisingly strong.

Deena gave a high-pitched squeak and shoved, with incredible force, Tonks away. "You leave Deena alone! You want to hurt Master Cornelius, don't you?"

Tonks gasped for breath. Tough little buggers. "I'm trying to protect him!"

"Then why did you attack me? Just because Master Cornelius sent you?"

"I—" She tried to stand up, but Deena gave another snap. The air seemed to harden, then rebel. Tonks found herself thrown to the other side of the room, ramming painfully into the wall. "Ouch. Okay, I'm sorry I grabbed you."

Deena stared. "Is you?"

"I am. Very sorry." She managed a grin. "And you have very impressive force, I must say."

Deena blushed. "Oh, I isn't so strong. But I is strong enough to protect Master Cornelius. I'm a good house-elf for him. The best. Not like some others."

"Others?"

Fear darted across Deena's eyes. "Oh, I didn't say that. Not at all. I was just saying…"

Tonks, almost cautiously, came forward. "Deena, this is just between us girls. I think you broke one of my ribs with that throw. You could at least indulge me in some gossip. I promise I won't tell. I want to protect your Master Cornelius just as much as you do."

"Really?"

"That I do."

Deena looked around cautiously, as if expecting someone to just jump out of the wall. "Well, there is another house-elf. Ardy. Deena doesn't like him much. Stupid. Too good for his station, he thinks. He sometimes cooks for Master Cornelius. I think he is still loyal to former master."

This was good. "So who was Ardy's former master?"

She shrugged. "I doesn't know, Miss. Deena just delivers flowers according to Master Cornelius' instructions. Now I'm most late for other chores." She gave another curtsey. "Nice to meet you, Miss Tonks." With a loud snap, she was gone.

The little bugger was probably lying, Tonks thought. Ardy could be innocent. Well, she'd just tell Cornelius about both of them. Poor guy, having to suffer with at least two house-elves. But it was something. Now all she needed to know was how in the world Deena had found the place.

If only Tonks could get into Cornelius' house—and have a little chat with Ardy.

But how was she supposed to do that? She glanced back at the flowers. Why in the world had he sent her flowers? He was so weird and secretive… and then he would send her flowers. She picked them and smelled them. Not bad, actually.

He was kind of sweet.

She opened the card.

That smelled so much worse. Even worse than what she and the kids had sent him.

She set the card on fire and gasped for fresh air. That… creep! Sending her stuff like this, like a prank war he was trying to start!

All of her worries suddenly vanished. Oh well. She'd bring them back up soon enough.

There was revenge to be sought. And if she had to figure out the Minister's secret while such revenge was pulled, so be it.

Cornelius Fudge was a heck of a lot more interesting than she had anticipated. Maybe all she would have to do was ask to see his house.

* * *

**

* * *

**

_xPussyWillowKittenx:_ Sirius might not be thinking that she would have believed him. Silly boy. He can tell everyone else just fine. Sigh.

_vbabe24:_ You can do the kick me thing if you really wanted! If you had magical powers! But for now you can use paper and tape.

_Thoughts and Pondering:_ I know! She's so awful! But I was trying to be very mean to the REAL Fudge, and I thought maybe he would like a girl like her. But Sirius is above that. And yes, there will be a thing between Tonks and Sirius.

_milky way bar:_ Or maybe we only think they need to be smacked upside the head because we are blinded by omniscience.

_meenyrocks:_ That's a big problem I've noticed in my other fic. There is a reason why Percy has suddenly been drawn back, besides the usual desire to go bug people, as angels probably do, but I haven't been able to squeeze it in yet! I need to do a rewrite of that part.

_Marquerida:_ Yes, he will be changing bodies in the future. I'm not so cruel as to leave him in Fudge's body.

_Lady Meriadoc:_ Well, Sirius did talk quietly, and she off. And as far as she is concerned, Sirius is dead. But still, the girl could get a clue.

_Lady Kazaana:_ I don't think there is anyone who can understand what he is going through!

_IamSiriusgrl:_ Thanks!

_hydraspit:_ Well, that's what it is! I can't lie! )

_EternallyLost:_ Thanks!

_ArcherofDarkness and Callie:_ Whilst I definitely would not put "That time of the month" in a fic, it's probably true. But give her a break: she's used to people dying and not coming back.


	11. The Wife

"We are simply saying that it is time for the Wizengamot to meet again, Mr. Fudge," Amelia Bones repeated for the eighth time, as she sat perched in her chair before Sirius' desk, looking for all the world as innocent and tasteful and… proper as could be. Sirius felt almost guilty in prolonging her torment. Almost.

He slid his fingers together, propping them up in a comfortable crossing on the desk, smiling his most simpering. "But there is no one to give a trial to." Like they had ever given him one. "I don't understand why the Wizengamot needs to get together without even a necessary trial." Did the Wizengamot meet for any other reason? When a nasty bunch of wizards and witches under the madness of Crouch refused that one responsibility, it was difficult to imagine much else they could do.

Amelia shook her head, eyes widening in prudent surprise. "Sir, the laws…"

Laws. Oh. That would make sense. With every department concerning itself with magical dog food and who knew else cooking up laws... "Which law in particular?"

For the first time since she had strolled into the office after sending in four wasted memos, she allowed herself a smile. "Oh, I wouldn't know. I never have a chance to look at the bills."

"You're smiling about something."

The grin widened. "It's nothing. I was just thinking of my niece out at Hogwarts—"

He had teased Tonks about that the other day. Some school law or another. One that should really should be in place, considering the danger evident out there. If Harry could just be allowed to use his magic during holidays… "And what does that have to do with laws, Ms. Bones?"

"Sir, I believe we're getting off the point of my memos. If you can beg my rudeness."

"If you wish me to attend the Wizengamot, I want to know what laws there are."

For a moment Amelia fought the grin threatening to consume her face, throwing in the occasional expression of sheer mature discipline. "I heard a rumor the other day. Someone wanting to change the law concerning the students not performing magic during their holidays."

So they could concern themselves with that kind of thing, and he never got so much as an unfair trial. Yet, somehow, he couldn't feel upset. Not at all. "That's a terrible idea! After what that Potter boy did with that nonsense about the dementors—"

"It wouldn't be just that law, sir," Amelia cut in with a manicured hand on the desk. "There are other laws…"

"Do any of them concern Voldemort?" He forgot about Fudge's apparent unwillingness to utter that name and cringed.

Not nearly as much as Amelia. Her face blanched, her nails digging into the surface of the desk. Apparently it wasn't real wood. "Excuse me, Mr. Fudge, I just didn't expect to hear you…"

Sirius hadn't meant to give the woman a heart attack. "Forgive me. It's just that… with the Dark Lord now out and moving, I figure it best to discuss the truth. Dumbledore is right; we need to band together and be brave." Not bad. He had spent too much time under that roof, with Albus walking in and out.

After a terrifying gasp for breath, Amelia shook her head and shoved herself back up into a proper seating posture. "No, sir. I'm afraid they don't concern… You-Know-Who." She gave a quick nod of her head, eyes on him. "Cornelius, we've worked together a long time…"

Sirius blinked. She wasn't hitting on him, was she? No. He knew of the Bones, and he had too much respect for them to consider any of the family hitting on Cornelius Fudge's body. But then what was she getting at? "I realize that."

"Well." She took a deep breath, somehow taking upon a very motherly countenance. "Your assistant, Percy Weasley, has been complaining to me and several others…"

Sirius groaned. After all the silence Percy had gone through when Crouch had seemed to be utterly mad, now he learned his lesson. "He has? I really wish he could present his complaints to me, if he has a problem. I'm really afraid I'll have to remember this when pay raises come around…"

She shook her head, hand once again on the desk, as if in effort to keep Sirius from going anywhere. "Don't blame him, sir. He was only doing what he thought right. The fact of the matter is, well, we're all rather worried about you. Pardon me if something in your life is off kilter, but you haven't been yourself the past few days."

Try dying and returning to someone else's body, Sirius thought in mild disgust. Surprise was hard to come by when one could offer the perfect answer, but even so he thought he pulled the look off quite well. "Oh? I appreciate taking concern in me, but-"

Suddenly Amelia Bones wasn't looking quite so kind. "I don't know if you are aware that there is currently a law in place that gives the Wizengamot the duty of dealing with even the Minister of Magic when there is a question of, how shall I put this, sanity?"

Sirius gave a jolt, his heart (or Fudge's heart) flipping inside of him. Insane? He hadn't been so bizarre, had he? "Why hasn't a qualified mediwizard from St. Mungo's been involved?"

"We don't want to take drastic measures, sir."

And this wasn't a drastic measure? The fifty or however many wizards of the Wizengamot, involved in this kind of situation… they knew Cornelius Fudge better than anyone! Better, seemingly so, than Tawnya did, anyway. "Why aren't we arguing about this law?"

"Sir, I'm sure you know how the laws work…"

Sirius drove his fist into the desktop, knocking over a mug of quills and a bottle of ink that was thankfully closed. Harry had mentioned Fudge doing something of the sort at his own hearing. "Ms. Bones, I am most insulted by this! You have no right to assume the matters in my personal life that may be affecting me! Why, my wife…" He couldn't think of an excuse to tie in with Tawnya.

But it worked. Amelia was sufficiently taken back, even with her hand at her chest, heaving a deep breath. "I meant no offense! Only that it was a matter of protocol. And considering the situation with You-Know-Who at hand, why, I thought we all wanted to prevent what happened last time!"

"And bring about the complete terror even the Ministry was displaying last time." The door was open, Tonks standing there, fingers still dangling over the knob, and a cluster of parchment under her other arm. Smiling.

For some reason, Sirius had never been so glad to see her. "Miss Tonks!"

Amelia gave a jumping glance between him and Tonks. "I-- Miss, I'm so sorry."Tonks closed the door behind her and strolled across the room, still grinning as comfortably as ever. She gave a haulting bow to Amelia along with a handshake, which Amelia, stunned, barely participated in. "Nymphadora Tonks, pleasure to make your acquaintance, ma'am. I'm very sorry to intrude like this, but your assistant Weatherby was out of the office, and… and I have some most urgent news to share with you, Minister."

"Amelia Bones," Amelia said dizzily. "I'm still afraid I don't know who you are."

"Nymphadora Tonks, I'm not afraid to introduce myself again. Though I must beg of you to simply call me Tonks. Sounds so much more official that way. I'm working with the Minister on some business in connection with the Order of the Phoenix. I'm the go-between for the Ministry and the Order, you might say."

"Well," Amelia rose to her feet. "I'm afraid I'm busy with him, that we have some pressing matters of his own nature that the Wizengamot must attend with…"

Sirius felt Tonks' gaze burn into him. Only for a few seconds, but she seemed to be reading through him. She wasn't guessing anything, was she? If he could only tell her who he was…

"I believe I heard all about it." Tonks had a definite way of wording things into the most polite voice possible. When she chose. "Ms. Bones, I think that might have to wait. I know you're worried about the Minister but, as I heard him say, there is too much going on. Why can't you imagine him being stressed with the Dark Lord on the loose? And Sirius Black still out there." She seemed to linger on his name. "I'm afraid it will just have to wait. What I have to say… I think it is more of a concern."

Amelia, nodding probably against her will, made her way to the door. "I'm… I'm sorry. I meant no insult." Like an escaping mouse in way of a cat, she sprang out the door.

Tonks stared at the door for a long time. "Wow. I actually managed to scare her off. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so forward, but…"

The house-elf. Sirius instantly felt sick. Of course they were going to get suspicious. Strange house-elves of government officials did not just randomly show up in places as well hidden as the Number 12 Grimmauld Place.

And that seemed to be the issue at hand.

She whipped a card from her pocket, one still oozing the faint aura of a very bad dung sample. "I received this and a bouquet last night, Cornelius. From one of your house-elves. And I must say I am very surprised at how she found me. Considering where I was."

James appeared near the back of the room, shaking his head.

"Um…" Sirius couldn't think of a single thing to say. Apparently he had lost his innate lying skills. "Um… I was informed of the Order Headquarters by Dumbledore." Would that work?

Tonks shook her head. "No, you weren't."

"May I say, then, that I have my ways?"

She flung the card down on his desk, just under his nose. "Great trick, by the way. Best I've seen in years."

She was plotting revenge, Sirius thought. She was definitely plotting revenge. She had come in here to question him about something, and yet flaunted yesterday's prank before him. She was so unlike the rest of the Blacks.

"Miss Tonks," he began. "I'm not sure what you're getting at. You threw out a respected Ministry official for the claim of important news. And yet—"

"I had a little chat with Deena last night, when she brought the flowers over. Which, by the way, have caused me to be the subject of four teenagers claiming that I have an admirer in the Minister of Magic himself."

Sirius hadn't intended that. Had he? She was Andromeda's daughter, for cying out loud.

She waved it aside. "But that's besides the point."

She was being much too serious. From what he had seen of Tonks, she could blend the solemn and the humorous. But so on task, so on focus…

"Deena gave me a warning about another one of your house-elves, by the way," she continued. "Ardy, I think his name was. Is it just me, or do some of the house-elves have the strangest names?"

Back on humorous again. Calm. Sirius couldn't be calm. And James was still in the corner, still watching him.

"Has Ardy tried to kill you yet?"

Right on the point. Sirius shook his head. "I… I admittedly threw out the breakfast he tried to serve me." Why hadn't he presented the house-elf with clothes immediately? "You wish to question my house-elf?"

"If that's all right."

That wouldn't be a problem. Sirius had already combed over Fudge's mansion, but… if he had Tonks with him… He opened his hands, smiling. "Tonks, you have my permission to do whatever you want to my house. Anything."

Tonks blinked. "Really? I didn't think you'd… oh wow. Fudge, you're willing to cooperate in your own murder plot?"

He already had, if she knew that. "Well, when do you want to go?"

She seemed unsure of herself. "Well, now, I guess. If that isn't a problem. I didn't know what you might be thinking."

Sirius stood up, not even bothering to press the chair under the desk. "We'll take the fireplace, if you don't mind, Tonks."

"Tonks," she repeated.

"That's your name, isn't it?"

"Of course it is." She gave a small shrug, beaming slightly. "But you've been calling me Miss for the past couple of days. And now, it's suddenly just Tonks."

"You don't mind? It seemed to be what you were most comfortable with."

She shook her head, pink hair swatting into her eyes. Big, they were. "I just thought…. Now I shall make it a point to continually call you Cornelius, now that we're in business together."

"You called me that earlier." Sirius was once again struck by the desire to have her simply call him Sirius.

"I could call you Corny. Okay then. Are we going by floo powder or not?"

"Of course." He made his way over to the fireplace and motioned to pick up the jar of floo poweder.

He would have, if he hadn't been struck by the sudden sensation of drowning in a waterfall. A puddle soaked into the floor, threatening to suck in his feet, and a bucket clattered down next to them.

Tonks was having a grand old time in laughter. "Revenge, Cornelius. Revenge. That, and a little place run by some Weasleys that market in some superb items."

Two more buckets quickly followed.

Fred and George, he thought happily. Good thing to see that the business was being respected. But… water? He would have thought that the Weasley twins would have had a bit more imagination. "Okay, Tonks, you have had your revenge. Shall we dismiss to my own territory?" He grabbed the jar, took out some powder, and handed the jar to Tonks.

For some reason, she was still laughing.

"Nice place you have here," Tonks said upon their arrival in the too-white sitting room. "No offense, but I always had this image of you sitting in some cozy little place full of… alcohol or something. But this… this is posh. Not my taste, but that's okay." She picked up a pillow, gave it a thorough examination, and tossed it back onto the couch.

"I feel the same way," Sirius muttered, wondering where on earth Ardy was. The stupid house-elf. He should have known. He had suspected the breakfast. "Ardy!" he shouted.

"Hmm." Tonks plopped down on the couch. "So that will get him coming, won't it?"

"It had better. Mind if I join you?"

She shrugged, then choked back a giggle. "It is your house, so I don't know why you're asking me, but I'd advise you against sitting down."

His sopping wet clothes. He grinned, wondering how mad the real Fudge would have been at such a childish prank. "I'm sure the furniture will dry."

"It's not that. It's just that I didn't invest in the non-staining kind," she replied. "Sorry about your robes, but I think it does come out after a few washes. Mostly. But upholstery… I really wouldn't know.

"Non-staining?" For the first time since the three buckets of water, he looked down at his robes.

They were a combination of pink, baby blue, lime green, and the combining grey sploshed mix. "I thought it was just water!"

"Cornelius, I'm not that pathetic."

Sirius considered it a moment. "I didn't mean that. Actually, I was disappointed in you when it was just the water. Well, my wife picked these out, so… I'll deal with her." He sat down next to her. For some reason, it was very awkward.

It was only Tonks…

She gave a tiny laugh. Not the kind she gave after the water, but more thoughtful. Mature. "You really aren't the kind of guy I imagined Cornelius Fudge to be."

She had no idea. "I suppose I have a different persona when I have to be in charge of laws."

"You don't seem to have the slightest idea of what you're doing."

That was too right. He couldn't help but laugh. "Makes you think even less of the Ministry, doesn't it?"

She nodded her head, seeming to avoid a non-neutral response. "Actually, it's kind of a relief. At least you're getting things done. All the things I've brought over… you've actually been doing them, haven't you?"

She had sent over messages. He had never looked at them, only demanded they be done. "Anything to help the Order."

Anything to help Harry. An idea occurred to him. "Say, Tonks?"

She was investigating a particularly hideous vase. "Hmm?"

He wasn't going to ask for this, was he? The shock of all shocks, what even Dumbledore wouldn't listen to. Why would Tonks trust him in this? Why would she not run screaming from the mansion, taking the hideous vase with her? "I understand, from stories I've heard, that when Sirius Black attended Hogwarts, he kept a mirror."

The vase dropped from Tonks' hands, shattering. "Oh, no! I'm so sorry!" She collapsed to the floor, raking up the pieces. Then stopped half-way through. "What mirror?"

"I was going to put those in charge of Sirius Black's case in on getting that mirror. We believed we could use it for evidence. And never mind the vase. We can blame that and the stained couch on a burglar."

Now Tonks was just staring at him, eyes wide and almost frightened. "I don't know of any mirror…"

The mirrors had always been a secret. "Ask Harry Potter."

"How the hell do you know about that?" She was back on the couch, fists clenched. And still looking scared.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." She was going to think him a spy, possessed by Voldemort.

"There was a mirror," she began.

He nodded.

A groan escaped her throat as she buried her face into her hands, pink hair strands popping out between her fingers. "And I haven't the slightest idea why I'm telling you this. But since you already know about Grimmauld Place…" She put her hands down just long enough to glare at him. "You may as well know that I was cleaning out Sirius Black's room yesterday. There was a mirror in a drawer."

A drawer. Of course. Dresser drawer, second one down. Amazing how the most meaningless memories could fly their way back. If he could use that mirror to prove who he was to Harry… And yet why couldn't he just prove it to Tonks? "And…?"

Her hands came down completely as she grinned sheepishly. "I'm afraid it… fell. And broke."

Broke. Sirius slid back, gaping at her. "You broke my mirror?" The words were out before he could think.

"Hey, it's not your mirror, it's-- How dare you say it's your mirror!"

"I didn't—"

She was on her feet, glaring down at him with more intensity than before. "What do you mean it's your mirror?"

"Tonks—"

Her face was twisted in horror and confusion and… panic. "Please answer my question. I've been wondering and wondering what your secret is and…"

A scream broke out in the hallway.

"Tawnya," Sirius muttered, so grateful to escape from Tonks. He leapt up from the couch, ignoring the rainbow stain on the cushions.

Tonks stood where she was, looking ready to faint. She muttered something about the Wizengamot.

"My wife," Sirius said dumbly, as if that would explain everything.

Tonks stared back at him, then at the door, then ran and put her ear to it. "Your wife is arguing with someone. Whoever you are."

Was Tawnya capable of arguing? Sirius joined Tonks at the door. "Ardy," he muttered.

"He is most certainly not dead, Mistress Tawyna," a squeaky voice was saying. Definitely Ardy. "He won't… eat Ardy food. Maybe if Mistress Tawyna would let me poison dinner…."

"I refuse to get involved in this!" a nasty female voice shot back. Completely unrecognizable. Except… It couldn't be Tawnya. She wasn't smart enough to sound like that.

"Please, Mistress. We gets in trouble if this isn't done soon. No one still knows what to think. Why Master Cornelius lived."

"I just want the money," Tawnya's voice snapped. "That's all I want! When I agreed to do this, I agreed just to stay calm, cry a little at his death, and do anything else Lord Voldemort wants. Hey, I don't support the guy! But I don't care if rules or not! Is that what they want me to do? Risk my life at dinner after you poison it?"

"No…"

"Does Aspen just want me to kill the guy?"

Sirius had seriously underestimated the woman. All this time… why hadn't she killed Fudge years ago? Exactly how long had they been married? The girl was hardly out of Hogwarts…

"I could do that." Tawnya let out a huffing sigh. "I'm good at that kind of thing. Or I could be. This will be my first time. Well, when he gets back from the office… nah, I'll do it this weekend."

"But—"

"Shut up, I can handle it. Just as I can handle being a bimbo. I'm a good actress. Now go clean something, I want a bath."

They left.

Sirius almost died all over again.

Tonks stared at him, eyes still wide. But the horror had changed to a different form of horror. "You can't stay here," she muttered. "But, yikes, no wonder you're insane."

He nodded. This would have driven the real Fudge insane. "I'll… I'll go hide at the office. Keep her from coming."

"What do they want with you? Oh, I'm sorry I just freaked out. I'm sorry. It's what I said to Bones. You have every right to be insane."

Then, to his amazement, she threw her arms around his neck.

It only lasted a second. And then she was back, looking humiliated. "I'm sorry. I'm just.., I'm a huggy person. I guess… look, we're going to get you help. Yes, you should get back to the office. I was going to invite you to the Order headquarters, but then you said…"

She could still invite him.

But apparently she wasn't.

"Let's do that."

"Let's." Without another word, she strode over to the fireplace, grabbed some floo powder, and shouted "Number 12 Grimmauld Place!"

"Tonks," he said.

She looked at him.

He didn't know what else to say.

She nodded, understanding. "I'm sorry. Again. I don't know what came over me. But don't come back here. I'm going to let Dumbledore know immediately."

Then she stepped inside the hearth, and was gone.

Tawnya was going to kill him. Even the thought was impossible in his head. But yet it remained, echoing over and over again. Like the hug Tonks had given him. Tawyna was going to kill him. She was not some dumb bimbo. Or at least she was a dumb bimbo who thought she could be more. Either was dangerous.

James had to know about this.

James was back at the office. Why had James even come?

He grabbed some floo powder, tossed it in, and within seconds he was back in the office.

James was no longer there.

Instead, Percy was, looking very surprised to see his boss tumble from the hearth. "Sir!"

"I had some place to be," Sirius said gruffly. Percy was not someone he wanted to see right now.

"I imagine that. Should I… should I continue that excuse?"

And add in the fact that Fudge's wife was a murderess. Hah. Almost funny. He, Sirius, wanted for murder, and occupying the body of someone who was. "For what?"

"Harry Potter, sir." Percy spat the name out in disgust. "I thought you might want to see him. He's here with… my father, sir. Something about the Wizengamot."

"Harry?" Screw the mirror…

"Should I pretend you're not here? It's just that before you always wanted to know about Potter's whereabouts."

"No." Sirius shook his head. "Send him in immediately."

* * *

I just hugged the Minister of Magic. The fact flooded Tonks' mind as she tripped over a poker immediately upon arriving in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place. I just hugged the Minister of Magic. Something was seriously wrong with her. Sure, he was a nice guy but… he was Cornelius Fudge!

But so nice, though. And he was participating in a prank war.

And why was she thinking about that when the man's very wife had turned out to be in this murder plot?

Molly was cooking something. Smelled very good. Yummy. Great, now she was hungry. Focus, Tonks. Focus.

Why hadn't she made him come back here? He obviously knew where to find her!

"Tonks?" Molly raised her wooden spoon, sauce dripping back into the pan.

"Hi, Molly!" Tonks tried to sound sweet. "What's… what's going on?"

"Well, Arthur took Ginny and the boys down to the Ministry to talk Kingsley… goodness, dear, what's wrong?"

The Ministry. Of all places. "Is… is Dumbledore around?"

"You know him, he's always in and out. But…" She tasted the sauce. "Hm, I'll need you to try this. I think it needs more paprika."

She was right. "Yes, more paprika. And garlic. Garlic's always good." Help Molly cooking. That was out of the way.

"I agree on the garlic," Molly said. "Well… I actually think Dumbledore is in the front hall, talking with Snape. Oh, I can't believe that man…"

Tonks would have to hear the story later. She rushed from the kitchen, throwing herself through corridors until she reached the front hall.

And crashed into Snape.

"Miss Tonks," he said in sniffing surprise.

"I need to talk to Dumbledore."

Dumbledore only seemed mildly surprised. "Well, first Snape throws news at me and now Tonks…" He nodded to Snape. "If you'll excuse me, Severus…"

Severus gave one of his usual looks and left. Eh, he had never scared Tonks anyway. The man was pretty decent, anyway. But that wasn't what mattered.

In approximately thirty seconds the entire story was out. Again. Not that Dumbledore seemed to mind. And then the comment about Sirius' mirror. And, of course, Fudge's wife. Her throat hurt when she was finished.

"Well?" she asked. "We need to protect him!"

For the first time since she began speaking, a look of utter amazement overwhelmed Dumbledore's face.

Uhoh.

"He's mad," she volunteered. "He's a nutter, isn't he?"

For a long time, Dumbledore didn't speak. "Tonks, my first reaction is to say so. But I've been considering it for a long time, and… now I no longer know what to think. I'm not completely aware of all that goes on in this world and the other."

Tonks didn't know what to say.

"This may have come as a shock to you, Tonks, and it's probably enough to have him commited to St. Mungo's, but I can't ignore evidence when I see it. Several days ago, Cornelius called me into his office. And he proceeded to try and convince me he was Sirius Black."

* * *

_**SHOUT OUTS!**_

**Werecat:** Actually, I'm afraid one of my goals is to disturb you. But I don't think the story is ever going to go into a severe, action-packed romance. It may be just little more than a friendship. So don't worry too much.

**Tru Lys:** Tonks always struck me as having a possibility for the dramatic. )

**Thoughts and Pondering:** Lol! No, Dumbledore doesn't exactly fit the picture of sanity, does he?

**movielvr:** Thanks! Eh, I'll never be one the people good enough to get a thousand reviews, so oh well.

**milky way bar:** At that point in time, Dumbledore still wasn't sure what to think.

**meenyrocks:** Thanks!

**Marquerida:** You just predicted one of the clues I was going to do! )

**Lady Meriadoc:** The mirror is actually for Harry's benefit.

**IamSiriusGrl:** Heck, I think Dumbledore's about ready to believe him! What did you think of Tonks' revenge, compliments of WWW?

**hydraspit:** It is legal to marry your second cousin! AND look at the Black family tree already! That's actually my rationalization.

**Blackmamuth:** Thanks!

**Artemeccion:** Yes! That was the two-way mirror Tonks managed to break!

**ArcherofDarkness and Callie:** Ooh! I respect and honor you for that! Eh, Deena is a good house-elf. And yay for Gremlins 3!

**Aerinha:** Thanks!


	12. The Truth

_As you may have noticed, I switched one of the genres. I was going over the story and realized just how little romance it actually had, despite all my evil plottings and the great mistake I had made in the beginning. So I switched it over, and we'll just see how it goes._

_Sorry, this is kind of a short chapter, but... cliffies are my friends._

* * *

"He proceeded to try and convince me he was Sirius Black."

The words spilled from Dumbledore's mouth with the ease of discussing the weather, a habit of his that Tonks was just beginning to find irritating, demanding her to ask just what was going on through his head. There was a reply somewhere inside of her, something including a threat, and she could already feel it coming forward.

Into nothing.

"What?" was all she could squeak.

"Sirius Black," Dumbledore repeated, his blue eyes not leaving hers. "That's what he told me. He mentioned the... incident at the Department of Mysteries. How Harry Potter went ahead with those friends of his. How he followed."

"But that's exactly what Sirius did." Oh no. Tonks clapped a hand over her mouth. She wasn't agreeing with this, wasn't she? She was not agreeing with someone who was clearly off of his rocker! But how could Cornelius have found something like that out? The Cornelius who was supposed to be searching for Sirius Black. After all he had said in the restaurant...

Oh, no. The idea had popped into her head, but she had never dared even let herself consider such a possibility. She lowered her hand, gently sucking up air. "Is that all he said?"

"I'm ashamed to say I left in bewilderment before he could say much more." He sighed and twisted a lock of beard around his finger. "And now all this comes up. Murder. Fudge surviving the Killing Curse. Him knowing what he does. How to get to this house."

"He was very adamant about getting to Sirius Black. He brought him quite a few times."

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "Too many times?"

Unwilling, Tonks nodded. "It cannot be possible."

She had never before met the Minister of Magic. Not until that day. She hadn't expected to like him so much. Familiar. Like Sirius. And even him she had only known for a few years. She fell back against the wall, legs suddenly weak. "Do you believe him, Dumbledore?" she asked breathlessly.

He continued to watch her, mouth set. Then, slowly, he nodded. "I don't think I have any other choice but to."

She couldn't agree to this. She could not agree to this madness. And yet... whether it really was Sirius or just Cornelius, the man was probably going to be murdered.

Again.

She took a deep breath and tried to smile at Dumbledore. It didn't work. "Well... what proof do we have?"

"I suppose only his word."

The mirror. Cornelius--or Sirius-- had mentioned something about a mirror. The two-way communication thingy. The ones he and James Potter had used during their detention times at Hogwarts. The very one she had broken... She wasn't sure how this particular mirror would connect to Sirius, but... What had she done with the pieces, anyway? Thrown them away?

Somewhere in the musty halls of the house came the sound of Severus Snape screaming in pain. "Who the hell leaves glass lying around in clothes!"

Amazing how a single voice could echo so clearly like that. Tonks managed a grin. "Sirius had a mirror which I broke the other day."

Dumbledore looked genuinally shocked. "I don't believe I've ever actually heard him swear."

"I'll go clean up the blood." Heart pounding, Tonks raced up the stairs to the old room where she did indeed find Snape clutching an old dusty towel to his bleeding hand, using even more colorful language than 'hell'. He glared at her as she raked her hands through the clothes for the shards of mirror.

"You have to be careful not to cut yourself," she explained.

Then she was out of the room, not even realizing she hadn't bothered to help Snape. She had the mirror. Whatever proof that was. Whatever good it might do.

Currently, she believed, it was set up to connect with Harry. Not exactly convenient, but oh well. She dropped to an empty section of corridor, letting the mirror spill to the carpet. There seemed to be all of them, even one smeared with Snape's blood. Just find the way to put them back together. That's all she had to do. Just put them back together.

* * *

Sirius sat at Fudge's desk, drumming his knuckles on the surface until the sound practically echoed throughout the room. Percy had gone to find Harry. Hopefully Harry wouldn't be a brat today and actually come. After all, who could refuse a summon from the Minister of Magic? Though he didn't imagine Harry held Fudge in the greatest esteem.

Lily appeared on top of the desk, forcing him to remove his hand, crossed legged and smiling. "Sirius!" she sang. "How are you?"

Sirius stared at her. Something was wrong. Lily was never quite this happy. "I'm... fine," he replied.

She nodded, face still lit by a grin. "I'm sure you are. But, Sirius, something has come up and..."

The door flew open, so hard the handle hit the side wall, leaving a very impressive dent.

Lily gave a small gasp and hopped from the table. "Harry," she whispered.

Harry remained in the doorway, not quite glaring but... he did not look as if he wanted to be there; Sirius couldn't blame him. He looked... he looked all right. Hair the usual degree of messiness and gravity defiance. Face and body reasonably healthy, albeit lost in a olive green sweatshirt and some khaki pants.

Instinctively Sirius stood up. "Harry!" No, too happy, too perky. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Ah, Harry Potter. A pleasure you could manage a visit to my office during your excursion through the Ministry today."

Harry raised an eyebrow, still refusing to set foot into the room. "And... why did you invite me to 'manage a visit'?"

"That's my boy!" Lily whispered. She was behind Harry now, hand wavering above his hair.

Good question. Was he ready for the answer? Sirius stepped around the desk, trying his best to look casual. As casual as Fudge ever was, anyway. "That's a very good question. To be perfectly honest, after the... chaos of the past year, most of which I admit was..." He purposely cleared his throat. "My fault, I thought it best that we clear up a few things. You know, just straighten things out between two men." He jaunted a fist into the air. Whoa, this was bad. The real Fudge would be proud.

Harry glanced backwards out the door. "Um, there was some stuff I was supposed to do today with Arthur Weasley..."

"We'll be quick, I promise. I just wanted to set things right. So, why don't you come inside and have a seat?"

Harry didn't move for a moment, but then, after what looked like careful consideration, stepped inside and closed the door. Slammed it. Then he crossed the room and climbed into a seat. "Yes?"

It was now or never. Sirius didn't dare get too close, so he hovered next to the desk, a good seven feet away from Harry. Lily didn't expect him to do what he was going to do, did she? No, she seemed to be too infatuated with her son. "Harry, I'm--" His brain went dizzy. He couldn't say this. Just like with Tonks.

Harry was looking very confused. Now even Lily was watching him, a note of panic under her expression, one considering bursting any time soon.

"Sirius," she whispered.

That wasn't her declaring the name, was it?

Say it. This couldn't be happening again. He couldn't say it with Tonks, he couldn't say it to Harry. But he had to. He pulled at the robe collars at his neck, hoping for air. "I'm..."

"Yes, Sir?" Harry asked.

"I'm..." Say it, you fool, he told himself. Just say it. But he couldn't. Harry wouldn't believe him. Just like Dumbledore hadn't believed him. Harry would think him crazy and march out and the next thing would be the bars of the mental ward at St. Mungo's.

"Sirius Black!"

Harry's eyes widened, and he nearly fell from the chair. Sirius stumbled back, hands at his mouth. He hadn't said anything, had he? He hadn't spoken a word, he couldn't have!

And then he saw Lily, standing behind Harry's chair, grinning.

The voice had been a female one. "Quick," she said. "He's already heard me. Say it yourself!"

What was she thinking? "I'm Sirius Black?" Dang. In a question format.

She nodded. "Sorry, Sirius, I couldn't resist. Besides... I think he needs to know now."

Harry was staring at him, or more precisely Cornelius Fudge, looking more horrified than Sirius had ever before seen him. "No, you're not."

Suddenly it was easy. Sirius took a step forward. "Harry, I am Sirius. Your godfather."

Harry jumped to his feet, looking sick. "Don't you dare say that! Don't you dare say anything like that! Sirius is a murderer, and definitely not my godfather. He betrayed my parents."

Lily bit her lip.

Harry was good putting up this facade, Sirius thought.

"No, I didn't," Sirius said. "You know that more than anyone. I was their secret keeper, then Peter Pettigrew took the job. He's the one that betrayed them. You know all of this, though I must admit you're good in the falsehoods you've all been living under. We were under the Shrieking Shack, all of us."

For a moment Harry was silent. "You're crazy. None of that is true."

"It's okay, Harry. I know everything about it. You don't have to pretend."

"You're sick." Harry turned around and headed to the door.

Just like Dumbledore. "I know you know it's true!" Sirius called after him. A little too desperately. "You visited me in the village of Hogsmeade! I had you call me Snuffles!"

This had to sound so crazy to the kid. The Minister of Magic, the one who had caused so much trouble for Harry, spouting off words like that. Harry wasn't used to this form. He couldn't... An idea popped into Sirius' head.

Harry froze at the door, hand on the wood. "How do you know all of this?"

"I already told you. I'm Sirius."

"Sirius died. I saw him."

Harry was not going to believe this. But what else was he supposed to say? "I wasn't supposed to, Harry. I wasn't supposed to. So, to make a long story short, I got to come back."

Harry turned. Again with the staring.

Sirius wasn't even sure this would work. The Animagus spell... they had only dabbled into its practical applications. Would it work, in this body? He thought of the dog, the black dog he had transformed into so many times. Fudge had no right to transform into that dog, but if...

Next thing he knew, he was a heck of a lot closer to the ground. On all fours. Black fur.

He had done it.

Hopefully Fudge wasn't an Animagus who could turn into a black dog as well.

But, regardless, he had done it. Apparently the spell wasn't just connected to the body. Unless of course Fudge could do it. But Sirius recognized this body.

And from the look on Harry's face, so did he. His mouth fell open slightly, green eyes staring. "Sirius?"

He recognized him. Harry recognized him. Someone finally did!

And then, before Sirius could do anything else, Lily screamed. "Sirius! I was going to tell you! But something came up, you have to--"

The door flew open, and a blast of orange light shot into the room.

Harry wasn't facing that way. It was much too quick for him. His eyelids fluttered as he sunk to the ground unconscious.

A woman stepped into the room, wild red curls slipped under a glittering diamond headband and tumbling onto green silk robes. A wand was clutched in her hand.

Tawnya. She looked much smarter than anything he had given her credit for.

She smiled down at him. "A dog? I wasn't aware my husband owned a dog?"

He couldn't really fight as a dog. Not weild a wand, anyway. He could transform quick enough, back to Fudge's body.

What harm could the woman do?

She didn't even seemed surprised as he rose before her, more Fudge like than dog.

"Ah, Animagus," she mused. "All the secrets you've been keeping me from. Oh well. I'll find them all when I go through your accounts."

"Tawnya, what do you think you're doing?" he muttered, searching for his wand. He clasped his hand around it."

"I have no time to talk, if I want to make this look good. When your assistant comes to out there, I need to be gone. And I think we'll all be happy to get Harry Potter."

Sirius racked his brains for spells.

But, surprisingly enough, Tawnya was quicker.

Lily screamed again.

"Avada Kedavra," Tawnya laughed, flicking her wand.

* * *

**_EternallyLost:_** Thanks!

**_hydraspit:_** It actually feels very weird to write this fic and not focus on Percy... but I'm not sure what I would do with him here! So he just gets to be a bratty little git. While I feel all his angst even as I write. Oh well.

**_IamSiriusgrl:_** Glad you enjoyed it! I'm not even sure it was in there, but my roommate was talking about the Wizengamot, and I thought, why not?

**_Marguerida: _**There would have been a chat... if I hadn't played around with cliffies!

**_meenyrocks: _**Thank-you for also be awaring of creepy laws! Actually, I originally intended for Tawnya to be dumb the entire time, but after a while and with the way the story was going...

**_milky way bar:_** Thanks!

**_Moony vs. Padfoot:_** I think it's finally dawning on Tonks who it is! And I think Sirius is a great Minister! Glad you agree!

**_Phillippa of the Phoenix: _**Eh, Dumbledore can be slow at times.

**_RSegovia: _**No, it is legal. Look it up. But it probably won't be happening, despite all my plans, with the way the story has been going.

**_Thoughts and Pondering: _**Thanks!

**_vbabe24: _**You are most certainly forgiven! Now in celebration, let's do the rod n' reel!

**_WWLAOS: _**Wow. I can't believe you're reading this when you don't even like Harry Potter! I feel loved! Good of your friends to fill in some of the questions for you.


	13. The Death

Even considering what Bellatrix had done to him, sending him through a veil of death subsequently killing him--no thanks to James, being struck by something as brutal as the Unforgiveable Killing Curse was a completely new experience for Sirius. Sickly amazing to watch, a beam of green pounding through the air toward him like lightning, all slowed down just enough for him to see it. Was that how it always was? Like anyone could survive to remember; Harry had been only a baby. So, this, was new. He almost felt some strange honor in being allowed to witness first-hand the curse.

And some astonishment that someone like Tawnya was capable of casting it.

He felt the green beam hit him square in the face, green light blinding him like sudden sunlight.

This was the curse that was supposed to kill, wasn't it? That's what it was called. Avada Kedavra. The Killing Curse.

Well, he had already died once.

Almost in horror, he watched a body collapse to the floor. He remained where he was, gazing on steadily. Suddenly he was in his old clothes, not Fudge's odd old things. The same things he had worn when Bellatrix had done what she had done. The body was no longer his, but clearly Fudge. And, once again, dead.

"Sirius!" An arm grabbed his. Lily. She was half-grinning, half-stunned. "Are you all right?"

"All right?" he echoed. He had just been murdered. Again. Not that James' little mistake had been a murder. But this definitely was. The body of Cornelius Fudge... lying on the floor. Clearly dead. "Lily, I--"

"I tried to warn you," she said apologetically. "I tried, but-- actually, I don't think I saw this coming. We just... we just knew it was time to... replace your body. We knew something was going to happen--and that's all we really can know."

James appeared at her side, grinning stupidly. "Wow. That was... a bit of surprise, eh?"

Sirius couldn't believe he was hearing this. "Fudge... he's... he's dead again!"

"Fudge died days ago, Sirius. You saw the whole thing."

He made a face. "But somehow it's a whole lot different watching it!"

Tawnya let out a soft laugh as she crossed the room to the body. "Oh, my poor dear husband," she breathed, mockingly wiping away an invisible tear. "Whatever shall I do in the face of this tragedy?"

"Kiss my butt, for all I care," Lily hissed. "Dang, I cannot believe that woman!" Lily stepped around behind Tawnya and made hair-pulling motions. But only for a moment, before her attention was fully given to Harry. She leaned over him, gently placing a hand over his forehead. "James, we can't let her take Harry!"

James let out a gasp. "Of course not. Sirius..."

Not Harry. No. She couldn't be considering doing that to Harry. She didn't... she wasn't even supposed to be involved! Not to this extent! Damn it. The entire ploy had been to protect Harry, and now here he was... useless. Completely useless. "Some god father I've turned out to be."

Once again the door opened.

Percy, Sirius suddenly thought. Please, let it be Percy, recovered from whatever Tawnya did to him. The one time he would be glad to see the kid.

No such luck. Aspen DeChant strolled in, looking for all the world as if she had just stepped out of some Wizengamot meeting. "You know, Mrs. Fudge, that kid out there seems to have a mild concussion." Her eyes slid over the room to the still forms of Harry and Cornelius Fudge, and her face gave way to a smile. "Ah, I see you were quick about this. You put all of us to shame."

"Yeah, I heard about your last disaster." Tawnya was now poking around Fudge's pockets.

"Keep looking," Sirius muttered. It wasn't like he had bothered to put money in his clothes that morning.

"I would have hardly called it a "disaster", Mrs. Fudge," Aspen replied coolly. "It wasn't like I was in charge of popping out the bushes that day at the Quidditch game to fail miserably. It's what you get from hiring others to do your dirty work."

"Never quite pays, does it?"

"Though I must admit that if you are so skilled at magic, you didn't do this earlier?"

Tawnya shrugged, flipping her curls. "He bought me things. He's not that bad of a husband."

Aspen closed her eyes, looking ill. "I'm going to pretend I never heard that."

The other woman returned a grin. "Jealous, are we?"

"I'm not going to say a word."

"But you admit I did good, don't you?" Tawnya gestured broadly at Harry's form, who, thankfully, was still breathing. "I believe you have several friends who want a word with the little brat? Oh, but I never want children."

"You did do good there, Mrs. Fudge." Aspen made her way over to Harry and carefully checked his pulse. "Hm. I believe I would kill him myself, if it weren't for the fact that Lord Voldemort wants to make it a personal death."

James' muscles tensed almost audibly. "No."

"Can't you interfere?" Sirius asked.

Lily shook her head, tears already filling her eyes. "No, we can't. But... but they can't get him out of the Ministry, can they? They can't do that. Someone would see."

"Aspen DeChant is apparently worth some respect in the Ministry. They'd recognize her. Figure she was just... working with Harry." Sirius felt sick, amazing considering his state. The past two minutes was refusing to sink in, completely blocked at the horror of what had just happened to Harry. It didn't feel real, not even the fact that he could see Fudge lying there on the carpet with the usual look of post-Avada Kedavra visible on his face. But Harry... that was a different thing altogether.

And all he could do was... watch.

This wasn't right. He wasn't supposed to be dead yet. And definitely not again.

Awkwardly, as if trying to lift a bag of potatoes, Aspen attempted to hoist Harry to his feet. He fell agasint her, arms every which way. Practically trying to put up a fight even when not conscious.

Tawnya, meanwhile, fiddled with her nails.

Aspen violently cleared her throat. "Would you mind?"

"Mind what?" Surprise.

"Floo powder, perhaps?"

Tawnya shot Aspen a look of pure venom, then stomped to the fireplace. "All the times I had to beg him to talk with me through this thing. I should have murdered him ages ago. And yet I still have to take commands from others."

Murdered. "James," Sirius began. He wasn't quite sure where he was going to go with this.

James stared back at him. "You're not--"

Without another word, Sirius hopped right back into the Fudge's body.

For a long time, neither woman seemed to notice. All concentration was on Tawnya fiddling with the jar of floo powder and Aspen continuing to try and keep Harry from falling. During her clumsy movements something fell from Harry's pocket.

His mirror. James' mirror.

Sirius rose to his knees. Fudge's knees. It was all getting so confusing. "What do you think you're doing?"

The jar fell from Tawnya's hands, shattering into an explosion of floo powder and pottery.

Aspen screamed, dropping Harry. "You! You can't!" Her gaze flew to Tawnya. "But you said you--"

Tawnya gave no sign of hearing Aspen. Her eyes were frozen on Sirius.

Sirius couldn't resist. "Tawnya, darling." He climbed to his feet, grinning at her. "Why did you feel the need to cast an Unforgiveable Curse at me?"

"Urgh..." Harry's eyes fluttered.

Tawnya clutched at the wall, her entire body trembling.

She was going to faint. Thank goodness, she was going to faint.

Instead, she screamed. A scream that could no doubt be heard throught the entire Ministry. "You were supposed to die! I killed you! You're supposed to be dead! You were dead!"

"Idiot," Aspen muttered. "No sense trusting anyone like you. Give me your wand."

Tawnya was back to her signs of fainting.

"Now!" Without waiting for any action, Aspen reached over and grabbed the wand herself, sliding it between her fingers and in a quick flip pointing it at Sirius.

What was she going to do? It was now perfectly clear he could reenter the body.

"Avada Kedavra!" she screamed.

And once again the spell shot toward him, shoving him from the body. He was now beginning to develop a sense for the experience. He wasn't sure how much he could take. Even his... spirit self seemed to be weakening. But he couldn't... he just had to stall enough for Harry to wake up and get out. Lily and James would find another body for him. Wouldn't they? James cheering him on, Sirius forced himself back into the body. Before it even hit the ground.

Aspen gave another scream, and Tawnya finally did faint.

Animagus, Sirius thought. That would be something. If that could scare Aspen enough... It was amazing he was reduced to this. Terrifying women.

But then again, they had been murdering him. And the Minister of Magic. He slid into the dog form, watching almost gleefully Aspen's face.

"An unregistered Animagus," she said slowly. "It matches the descriptions of..." Something came over her face. Confusion, delight, horror. And even more confusion. "It can't be. Lucius said..."

Sirius stopped before, teeth bared. The dog part of his brain wanted nothing more than to bite her, good and hard and painful. But, she couldn't suspect anything now, could she?

"Sirius Black," Aspen whispered.

Immediately the name was echoed, much louder and with much more enthusiasm. A popping sound went through the room as Tonks appeared, looking breathless, clutching a Spell-o-taped mirror in her hand.

Immediately she looked like she regretted coming.

* * *

_America A. Black: _Thanks! Hey, do you have any suggestions for Tonks? I have trouble doing her, because we really don't see much of her in OotP, so I'm really not sure how she's supposed to act! I guess this fic has actually become an experiment in my vesion of her against everyone elses. So advice would be good.

_Dante Lewis:_ Aw, thanks for healing Sevvy's hand!

_hydraspit:_ Sadly enough, I haven't gone far ahead enough to decide if he is going to get another body! I sort of changed my original intended ending.

_IamSirusGrl:_ Well, this is probably one of my quickest updates in awhile!

_Irish Lady Knight: _Hey, she had to be more than just a pretty face!

_meenyrocks:_ I apologize for that! It really wasn't an appropriate word to use. Heck, my parents are fourth cousins and that still freaks people out. Anyway, I'm very sorry! Forgive?

_Phillippa of the Phoenix:_ So far Tonks is taking it well, but you shall see her perspective later!

_Thoughts and Pondering:_ I think people will want Sirius dead no matter what body he's in.

_WWLAOS: _Dude. For not being a Potterhead, you come up with a very interesting idea there on that spell...


	14. The Fight

This was so not supposed to happen. She had not been supposed to walk right into anything like this, all convenient-like, looking like some idiot out of a joke who just happened to stroll into the flames of disaster. But there she was, standing in the Minister's office, clutching that damn mirror. And some woman, already in there, who knew just as much of what was going on here. Awkward, to say the least.

Run, shouted one part of her brain. Run out of here and save yourself before anything worse happened. That was feasible, the door was right behind her. Just race backwards to it without getting yourself killed, make up some excuse for whatever confusion Percy expressed for her being there.

Except there was no way she could do that, not with the way she was feeling. The horrible way she had felt as she attempted to repair the mirror, then coming here, and finding...

Sirius. She still couldn't quite believe it. Mrs. Fudge lying in a heap on the floor, some crazed Ministry woman holding that wand, Harry, unconscious. She would never forgive herself if anything happened to Harry. And then... that dog! That big black dog, staring at her... She wasn't a complete expert on telling the differences between animals, but she recognized this dog if she recognized nothing else. The jokes that had come up in the dimmer times of the war of Sirius Black's little puppy form. She had seen him change plenty of times.

So why had she brought the stupid mirror? This was proof enough. Yet it remained in her hands, glinting light off the walls. Practically a beam for any Death Eater with a drop of common sense in his head.

Tonks' hand shot to her own pocket. Wand, wand. She had to have a wand. She wouldn't be so stupid as to leave without it, would she? Thankfully her fingers closed around wood.

The other woman raised a delicate eyebrow. Whatever glee she had on announcing Sirius' identity was lost in bewilderment. She looked sort of familiar, Tonks supposed. One of the many random people that wandered the wizarding world. The woman took a deep breath, lowering her wand. The dog Sirius' eyes danced between the two of them. "Aspen DeChant," the woman said coolly in the utter semblance of a sophisticated Ministry official, a lady. Yeah, right. Tonks didn't consider herself a lady and had no patience for half of them, anyway. "A pleasure to make your acquaintance."

She was pretty much declaring Tonks' death right there. Tonks tore her wand from her pocket. "Tonks," she replied. Was there something else she should say with that? She hadn't exactly intended to throw herself into this situation.

"I understand you to be very aware of the identity of..." Aspen's eyes settled momentarily on Sirius, once again filling with amazement.

"Sirius Black," Tonks said breathlessly. Dang. Probably not the smartest thing to say.

"And, exactly, how long have you known this?" Toying with her, now. Lovely.

There was no safe response to that.

Aspen smiled, the calmest thing she could muster anymore in her stage of excitement. "Then I imagine you'll be a lot easier to kill than him." She flung back her wand hand almost lazily.

Tonks swore and jumped to the floor. Throw a spell, she thought. Do something.

"Avada–"

Tonks hoped no one would mind a horrible sickness on the Minister's office carpet.

But the spell was not finished. Instead, Aspen screamed. Horribly. And the woman did not know how to properly scream.

The dog, or Sirius, whomever it was, had his teeth tight around Aspen's ankle. The wand had fallen to the ground and rolled into the hearth, where it was happily being consumed. The other woman, Mrs. Fudge, groggily lifted her ashen face at the scream. So she really was involved in this whole freaking mess. Tonks took a deep breath and pushed herself back up. She had to do something here. Get Mrs. Fudge. Aspen seemed pretty occupied with Sirius, so...

It was difficult to get past the thrashing victim of a dog without being attacked. The next thing Tonks knew was that she was on the ground, on top of Aspen. Awkward.

Aspen snarled up at her, face pale and twisted with pain. For crying out loud, the lady had to be in her sixties or something, not in this mess.

"Hi," Tonks said. "Sorry about my cousin there."

"Cousin?"

Tonks, for the countless time, thanked fate and her father for her last name. "Yes. The Black family. Certainly you've heard of us. Lord Voldemort is quite found of us, for the most part."

Aspen wasn't. Sirius had refused to let go of her ankle.

"You–" Aspen blinked back the tears in her eyes, then made a grab for Tonks' wand, which, amazingly enough, she had managed to hold onto.

"Mine!" Tonks rolled away from the mess, Aspen's hand desperately grasping in the air.

This is what someone needed to walk into. The Minister's wife oblivious on the floor, and she rolling around on the floor with a woman three times her age who had a criminal dog attached to her. The mess it would be, especially with Cornelius–she couldn't think of him that way, not if it had been Sirius the entire time. The Minister's wife. Mrs. Fudge. The bimbo woman lying–

Tonks blinked. Mrs. Fudge was gone. She could see Harry, still unconscious. But Fudge's wife...

The wand was torn right from her hand, and shot across the room to where a very disheveled Mrs. Fudge stood. Her tacky red curls bushed out everywhere like a fire hazard, and her already revealing robes were torn even further. But her pretty face did not match the rest of it. The gold digger woman, the one who was supposed to be an idiot, was the one clutching Tonks' wand. The only one in the room who was actually laughing.

"Convenient," she practically sang. "Wow, I forgot I could still do that much without a wand. But old talents prove useful. And to think all my Hogwarts professors said I would never get anywhere!" She even giggled.

Sirius let go of Aspen's ankle, who made a quick and rather pained scramble to her knees. "Give it here, idiot!"

"Why? You weren't being very nice to me, you know. Considering my place in society is much higher than yours, Mrs. DeChant. Now I know I'm not as involved in the Death Eater circles as you are, but... I believe the Dark Lord would be rather interested in knowing how close you came to bungling this." The wand twirling in her perfectly manicured fingers, Mrs. Fudge laughed and surveyed the crowd. "Now that I've had more time to take all of this in... to think I have spent the past few days married to who I assume to be Sirius Black himself. Unless there was a very random switch that I didn't know about." For a moment she looked worried. "But oh, well. I can turn him in, find whatever poly-juice potion he was using, and also turn in Harry Potter. Oh, and you, Mrs. DeChant. I never really liked you."

Poly-juice potion? That's what she thought it was? That Sirius had survived everything and had been posing as the Minister using poly-juice potion? Giving Aspen one last kick, Tonks jumped to her feet. She hadn't the slightest idea how she was supposed to go about communicating with someone like this. Nothing to do but take a deep breath and hope for the best. Behind her, she could hear Sirius growling. And another scream from Aspen declaring Sirius resuming his responsibility. "Okay, lady, I know you're in a super good position here."

"Oh, I know I am," Mrs. Fudge said with a smile. "Great, huh? I haven't the slightest idea who you are, but I can probably make something useful out of you. Though I do love your hair."

"It's natural," Tonks hissed, springing at the woman.

Mrs. Fudge was prepared, stepping back just enough that Tonks only caught her dress. But it was enough to drag her down and let Tonks dive into another wrestle for the wand.

"My dress!" Mrs. Fudge screamed, raking her claw-like nails against Tonks' cheek.

It hurt, sadly enough. But Tonks shoved the hand down with one arm, stretching the other out desperately toward the wand. A stupid wand. A cat fight should not occur over a stupid wand. But Mrs. Fudge was good. Apparently she did something besides sit around whatever manor they held and eat bonbons. With a shrieking, cat-like hiss she brought up her knee into Tonks' stomach.

That wasn't fair. Red and black swam before Tonks' eyes as she instinctively rolled away. The wand, she could get the wand on the way out...

No. Mrs. Fudge was already on her feet, gasping for air, but taking it in better than Tonks was.

This wasn't going to happen. Through the corner of her dizzy vision Tonks could still see Harry, sort of coming to. Sort of. Stupid kid. Oh, he was going to pay for this. And so was Sirius. They were both in deep trouble. With a scream as a substitute for proper death Tonks rolled into Mrs. Fudge's knees. Horrible. Trashy. Now this is what Rita Skeeter needed to waltz into. Tonks had never been in any newspaper before. Why not this one? Just as long as she could get the damn wand.

Mrs. Fudge teetered briefly, but shoved most of her weight back into Tonks.

There had to be something. Something glinting in the firelight... The mirror had fallen from her pocket, and the Spell-o-tape had done little to keep it together.

Snape hadn't had much luck with that thing. Well, a little more blood in the room couldn't hurt. Tonks snatched it into her hand and swung it toward Mrs. Fudge.

The glass didn't reach the flesh but...

"My dress!" Mrs. Fudge screamed as an entire good foot of fabric collapsed.

It was enough. One more knock at the knees and... Yes, it was enough. The wand went flying, striking Fudge's desk and ricocheting back to the floor.

"Get the wand, bimbo!" Aspen's voice wasn't far behind.

Aspen, back there, clutching her ankle as the blood pooled around her. No Sirius...

And there he was, shooting like a black star across the room. In a second the wand was in his mouth, and he was bounding back towards Tonks. There was no mistaking it. This was Sirius.

It had to be Sirius. For a moment all Sirius could do was stare as the dog stood before her, offering back her wand. She had never known Sirius very long in the first place, but... he was supposed to be dead.

He couldn't have come back. Not as Cornelius Fudge. Not this entire time.

"Thanks," she muttered, grabbing the wand. Now she was back in control. It felt good. It felt very good.

Like a punished infant, Mrs. Fudge collapsed to the carpet. "I–"

"Shut up," Tonks hissed. Now all she had to do was...

"Petrificus totalus!" another voice shouted. Harry. Looking incredibly sick and dizzy, but with enough energy to yank out that wand. She made a mental note not to kill him.

Mrs. Fudge sunk even more into the floor, stiff, the robes barely covering her. The only thing alive was her eyes, which looked ready to throw a hissy fit if the rest of her body would cooperate.

And Aspen... well, she would definitely need medical attention now that she couldn't block the bleeding with her hands. Though the bite hardly looked deep.

"Thanks, Harry," she murmured. Suddenly she felt very dizzy.

Dog Sirius rushed up to Harry, paws striking his chest and a happy bark echoing over the room.

Amazing. This had to be Sirius. Back.

All this time...

Harry, scarcely daring to think by the look of it, stared back at Tonks. "Is it?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I think it is."

Harry sunk to the floor, arms around the dog's neck. "Sirius?"

Another bark. The same obnoxious bark Sirius loved to do in that dog form.

"You posed as Cornelius Fudge?" Harry asked in utter disbelief. He didn't seem to know who to look at, the dog or Tonks. "Tonks, did you know about this?"

She shook her head. "I had no idea." She probably should have. She had thought of it, during that one brief moment after the restaurant. Sick, how she hadn't realized it. The same person, one and the same. She had always liked Sirius. Always. And... she had liked this Fudge.

Now that the initial steam was out, it was too much to think about.

A knock sounded at the door. "Hello?" came the very confused and tired voice of Percy Weasley.

Harry jumped back to his feet, letting go of Sirius. "Hi–"

Percy opened the door, though most of his weight seemed to be depending on it to properly stand. He looked like he had just been hit over the head. "What just happened here?"

It had to look crazy. It had to. Two petrified women, her, Harry, a dog...

A scream burst from Percy's throat.

Well, it didn't look bad.

"The Minister!" Percy exclaimed, pushing past Tonks in a sudden burst of energy. "What happened?"

Tonks turned around.

Sirius was gone. No black dog.

Instead there was the body of Cornelius Fudge. But... if he had been Sirius this entire time...

Except it wasn't that simple.

This body was clearly dead.

* * *

_**Shout Outs!**_

**WWLAOS**: Believe it or not, animagus and other such tricks are not uncommon. Sirius was a wanted killer, and among Death Eater circles, everyone KNEW what his form looked like. All Aspen had to do was put two and two together and accept the impossible. Though your reasoning made me quite paranoid...

**Willow Evenstar:** It was actually really hard to come up with what precisely Tonks would do. So I sort of went for what would be the funniest.

**Thoughts and Pondering:** Oh, yeah, I know all about school computers. They are so irritating with all their rules...

**scared-of-mimes:** Actually... the whole "Sirius killed Fudge" thing is sort of going to come up.

**RSegovia:** Sirius sort of helped, I guess.

**Phillipa of the Phoenix: **Stupid Harry. Well, Tonks still might have a nervous breakdown. I think she's still caught up in the rush.

**obsessivescottishdemocrat:** Thanks! Love your name, by the way.

**milky way bar:** Thanks!

**meenyrocks:** Well, I figured if it wasn't Sirius' body to begin with, and he could enter it once...

**Lady Kazaana:** (dramatic sigh) Sometimes I just don't have the energy to churn out long things...

**Irish Lady Knight:** Eh, not too much of a plot twist, but it's fun! Thanks!

**IamSiriusGrl:** Killing is fun. )

**hydraspit: **You know, I've actually had a couple of original endings. I'll tell you the others when this is all said and done.

**Hiro No Tsuki:** Thanks!

**Fuzzy Angel: **Wow, thanks for the long review! I'm glad you thought Dumbledore was realistic. I mean, the guy is pretty quirky, but I felt some things would be even beyond him. And, yes, I love "Heart and Souls!" Great movie.

**Dante Lewis:** I actually don't dare answer your question until the next chapter... Sorry.

**cwam: **Thanks!

**blackmamuth: **Thanks!

**badger-dude: **Thanks!

**Ameria: **Tonks ideas taken! Thank-yee!


	15. The Murder

_Sorry this is so short! There is only one more chapter left!_

* * *

Sirius' head really hurt. A lot. A lot more than he would have expected it to hurt, considering he did not presently have a body. Oh, that ship had sailed. There it was, the second one he had ever had in his life, lying happily on the floor while Tonks, Harry, and Percy stared at it in horror. The body of Cornelius Fudge. So strange to finally see it that way. Cornelius Fudge. Not Sirius Black, which was still lost in the spectral world somewhere. And yet, it had not been a bad body. He leaned against the wall near the fireplace, staring blankly at the scene before him.

Just when he had gotten Harry to believe him. Harry had known it was him. Harry had known!

"You know, Sirius, I really didn't intend for this kind of mess to happen," James said demurely, readjusting his glasses for a better view.

Lily gave a dry laugh. "I doubt 'mess' is the right way to describe this, James."

Percy was staring at the body, face reddening like lava. "The Minister! He's... he's... Fudge is dead!"

With a jerk Harry stepped back.

"Oh, boy," Sirius muttered. "But the body... why can't I?"

"No," Lily said firmly. "No."

"But–" He couldn't let this happen. No way could this happen. Already enough bad stuff had happened. This couldn't happen. "If I could just hop back in the body, again."

But Tonks was already checking the pulse, her eyes wide.

"Sirius," James began with a deafening sigh. "People don't always like to see dead bodies jump back up. As you've already seen."

"It's not him!" Aspen was screaming. "That isn't Cornelius Fudge! Sirius Black! It was Sirius Black! But–"

"He's dead," Harry said quietly, sending a glare painfully in Aspen's direction.

Now Percy was at the body's side. "Blood. There's blood everywhere. Was he stabbed? Maybe we can still help him!"

"Percy," Tonks said. "He's dead. You can't do anything." But there seemed to be hope in her voice; her eyes were certainly not leaving the body.

Sirius turned to Lily and James. Never had he felt more desperate. He wasn't supposed to be here, invisible to everyone living. He was supposed to be alive. "You told me I was supposed to be alive! You told me I wasn't supposed to have died! I'm supposed to be alive right now!"

"And a lot of things are supposed to be," James replied with a look in his eyes that was too jovial for Sirius' taste, the remainders of an old Hogwarts days prank.

"James..."

"Did Sirius Black stab the Minister?" Percy was reaching hysterics now. In seconds his hands were on Tonks' shoulders. "I blame you for this!"

Immediately she shrugged him away. "You... you think I killed him?"

"Well..." Percy momentarily lost words. "Well, somebody did!" His gaze fluttered over the room, taking in Aspen and the still-sulking Tawnya. "But, Miss Tonks, you were the one who didn't want to be involved in this assignment! We all heard you complaining!"

"I didn't kill him, Percy!" she shrieked. Now she was heading toward hysterics. Only Harry looked remotely calm. No, not calm. Maybe he was reaching hysterics, the quiet kind combined with some other emotion. He had retreated into the corner, watching the events with wide eyes.

Lily sighed. "Mess. This is no mess. This is terrible. Good thing you're dead, Sirius."

"But I'm not supposed to be dead!" he snapped. He had rarely snapped at Lily. "Why won't you let me go back in there?"

"It's sort of a complicated story," James said dryly. "Beginning with you."

Tawnya let out a loud sniff and flipped her hair back in a weak attempt to make herself look more presentable. "It couldn't have been Sirius Black. Sirius Black is dead. Everyone knows that."

"Mrs. Fudge!" Aspen shrieked. "You were here!"

"I don't understand it, either." Tawnya returned to her sulking.

"Percy," Tonks said. "Sirius didn't kill him, you know that. You know that!"

"But..." Percy gestured at the body. "But... Black is dead? He isn't dead!"

Thank-you, Tonks, Sirius thought.

"I mean..." Tonks looked ill. "Oh, heck, let's just inform someone. Percy, this is a national disaster."

Percy nodded weakly. "Yes... yes, we'll do that."

James laughed. "Sirius, you do realize that you're probably going to be accused of murder this time around? Again?"

"The irony of it." Amazingly, Sirius found himself smiling. He would once again be accused of something he didn't do. Even though he was dead.

"By the way," Tonks said, a shadow of more brightly. "These two..." She barely nodded toward Tawnya and Aspen. "These two... are Death Eaters."

Percy just nodded. "Oh, okay."

"Then you know what to do?"

"...no."

"Fantastic," Tonks muttered. "Fantastic."

"James," Sirius said. Somehow he would get this figured out. "Why did you take me out? Why? A second time?"

"Yeah, James," Lily scolded. "You want to explain things to him?"

"And why won't you let me go back?"

James rolled his eyes at Lily. "You were going to tell him, I believe. Before that little interruption?" He got no response. "Sirius, remember when we said that Fudge's body wouldn't be permanent?"

Sirius did. "Oh no. But–"

"Turns out there are a bunch of red-tape rules about these sort of things. We agreed it would be temporary, so that's how it's going to be."

"I still don't get what you're saying."

Several other Ministry officials had burst into the room. The din was becoming deafening, and several more accusations were thrown in Sirius Black's direction. Sirius watched as Tonks attempted to save his name. It was pointless. It didn't matter at all. He might as well go out with one last strike of infamy.

"Let it go, Tonks," he whispered, drawing stares from an arguing Lily and James. "Just let it go."

Someone, sighing heavily and wiping away sweat, turned to Harry. "Okay, the Potter Kid. Sorry I wrote lousy letter-to-the-editor about you."

Harry just stared at him, ashen faced.

He gave another sigh. "What did you see? Did Sirius Black kill Fudge?"

Now even James and Lily were back to watching.

Harry continued to stare at the man, eyes still wide. Then, "Yes. I saw him. He was here."

"Why not?" Sirius said.

Lily nodded. "Why not? It's a grand way to go out. Assassinating the Minister of Magic. We're getting our conversation interrupted quite a bit here, aren't we?"

"That we are," James said. "Well, Sirius, we did find a body for you. It was kind of an emergency."

"But what was wrong with this one?" He was so confused. How could he be this confused? Practically rejoicing over yet another murder accusation? Wanting to get back in Fudge's body? "Harry and Tonks actually believed this body!"

"Finally. Look, Sirius, this has to be done."

"But I could actually do things in this body! People would have listened to me!"

"You caught two Death Eaters. If Tawnya actually is one. I'm sure everything will be sorted out. Eventually. Maybe."

"So," Lily said softly. "We're out of here. They can deal with the trial stuff."

It wasn't too late. Maybe he still could jump in that body. Maybe he still could!

But somehow he didn't dare. Did he really want to spend the rest of his live as Cornelius Fudge? But if people actually thought he was Sirius Black...

James had his hands on his shoulders now, dragging him away.

The last thing he was Tonks and Harry, softly talking. And Percy, muttering something about what paperwork was required for this sort of thing.

All kinds of mourning, Sirius supposed.

* * *

xPussyWillowKittenx: Yes.

XdeMeNtEdX: No, Sirius ain't faking it! James and Lily were being brats! But, nah, they already believe Harry at this point. He's fine. Or is he?

WWLAOS: Eh, it was partially a prank on James' part.

Willow Evenstar: I enjoy being evil!

Scarlet Lark: Thank-you so much!

scared-of-mimes: Of course he was accused of murder! He's Sirius! The scapegoat!

milky way bar: Thanks!

meenyrocks: Do you really think I"m that much of a goody-goody? )

Irish Lady Knight: Thanks!

hydraspit: At least Harry isn't freaking out. Maybe I should have had him do that...

EternallyLost: Was Percy's reaction okay for you? For some reason I imagined him being worried about the death throwing things out of whack for him.

ash: Thanks. Actually, I mentioned several times that they were second cousins. It just seemed easier to leave out the "second" portion, since I already established it.


	16. The Brother

_Here it is, the end. Probably not as big and wild as some of you may have wanted, but I felt it appropriate. Let me know if it's too awful, but I'm going to be away all summer, and I don't know if I can fix it. 'Sides, I like this ending personally._

_Anyway, thanks so much for everyone who was reviewed with their great comments and help!_

* * *

"MAD MASSACRER MURDERS MINISTER", Arthur Weasley read aloud, noticeably avoiding any drama the headline might demand. His face was set; Tonks wasn't sure if he were trying to keep himself from crying or laughing. "Poor Black... dies... yet he still manages more fame than the rest of us combined. Except you, of course, Harry."

Harry smiled weakly across the table. The Burrow kitchen, a far cry from Grimmauld Palce, where no one seemed to want to be lately, Tonks had observed. Not since the rumor had ran rampant. With Ginny and the twins going over time, and Order members who knew next to nothing about Sirius, she was afraid to see what version was the latest. Sirius being summoned back from the dead in a seance gone wrong and taking over the body of a chipmunk. A rabid chipmunk that could somehow kill Fudge.

Harry didn't seem to mind, though. The smile there wasn't horribly pained. Ooh, but how nice it would be to be all callused and hardened like that. And already have gone through the experience of being considered insane. Yes. That would be useful. Tonks actually had to attempt to be considered insane. And even then they all thought she was just being cute. Or stupid. And there was a large difference between cute and stupid.

"The alliteration is clever, I admit," Dumbledore said, rising heavily from his chair. Great. Even he could sound happy. Like the mourning period had been over a month ago. "I just wish... I had something earlier."

Which it was. With a silent sigh Tonks lowered her face into her hands.

"Arthur!" Molly snapped, yanking the newspaper away from her husband with force even dark magic couldn't provide. Even then her eyes, too kind, were sneaking over to Tonks and Harry. "I don't think that's appropriate material for the dinner table."

Ron made some snide comment about other tidbits his mother liked to bring up.

Tonks actually laughed.

Molly stared in horror.

"I'm fine," Tonks continued, snatching the paper herself. "I'm fine. And no, Arthur, I do not require Muggle therapy. My dad told me all about that. All about it."

"I was threatened to be sent to one once, by the Dursleys," Harry said.

Another awkward silence. Dinner had been full of them. Very full. Of course, half of those had been happily ruined by a rude sound from George or Fred or another comment about therapy.

Therapy. She did not need therapy. Just because she and Harry had happened to have been there the entire time... knew what really happened...

She really needed Muggle Excedrin right then. The picture was much too large for the paper, almost pushing at the margins and the article itself. An article that had managed to once again write her in as Nymphoria–they couldn't even get the name she hated right! But who cared. Not with that picture. Fudge lying there. Dead. No longer Sirius.

What a relief it had never been Sirius. And yet even of that she was no longer sure. And it had all happened just one day before. One far too interesting day where more energy had been drained out in adrenalin than any Quidditch game they could throw at her. It just wasn't healthy. Finding out the Minister's wife is out to get him. Finding out the Minister might be a relative, second cousin once removed or whatever Sirius had been, she no longer cared. The family black sheep was the only title that had ever mattered, anyway. Too much of those sorts of thoughts rushing back. All the good times she had had with the Minister/Sirius. She couldn't even think of him as Cornelius anymore. Eww.

Then the worst part of all. Rushing in there for the cat fight of the century and all the girl drama Tonks had never received during her school years.

And now, once again, no more Sirius.

Molly had hidden the sleeping potion much too well.

"So..." Bill said almost under his breath. "Who's going to be taking up Mrs. DeChant's position in the Department of Magical Transportation, Dad?"

"I think that's the Department Mrs. Fudge should have worked in," Ron said, chucking a string bean at Harry.

Snickers from most of the table, including, to Tonks' amazement, Dumbledore, while Arthur blushed and Molly looked on in confusion.

"Mum," Ginny said softly. "It was supposed to be dirty. And I wasn't laughing."

Molly stared. "It was?"

Ginny sighed and shook her head at George. "Told you she could be clueless."

"I'm very clueless. And I demand to know what raunchy jokes my children are saying right in front of me!"

"You'll get it later, Mum," Bill said, hiding back a grin.

Harry chucked the string bean back at Ron.

Amazing how people could laugh at this sort of stuff. Harry's gaze caught hers. He wasn't laughing. Tonks suddenly had a desire to spring dramatically to her feet, grab a carrot from the vegetable bowl, and demand that everyone once again go into mourning for Sirius Black.

Of course, they hadn't been there. And Dumbledore had already said too much. If she heard one more drop of that old coot's guilt...

Sirius, she thought. Why is our family so screwed up?

"What about the Minister?" Molly asked, eyes daring Ron to make another dirty joke. "Poor Cornelius Fudge. He wasn't such a horrible man, not really. Just... oh, I hate to say mean things about people! I mean, shouldn't people really know who was responsible for it?"

"They do, Molly," Dumbledore replied, taking the carrot Tonks had fantasized over and biting into it. "Voldemort and the Death Eaters were responsible. We don't need a specific name. Why, I'm sure it's been debated that Mrs. DeChant and Mrs. Fudge were involved with the murder themselves! No one liked the latter young lady, anyway. Not even her brother. Why, I just spoke with him this morning in fact. Told me only family honor kept him from being too suspicious. Still claims he didn't know she was a Death Eater, though. Except he slipped on that once, too." He shook his head. "The fools we let into this Order."

"The sad part," Arthur said. "Is that aside from the fact it was a Ministry attack, no one seems to care that Fudge is dead. Even sadder that it makes people so much more supportive of the Order. Now we just have to wait for everyone to argue over who will be the next Minister."

"Harry," Ginny suggested. "That'd break a record. Youngest Minister of Magic ever."

Without a word, Harry pushed away from the table and left the room.

"Oh, dear," Molly breathed.

"I guess I'm just used to Sirius Black being..." Bill couldn't finish his sentence. "This is going to get some getting used to."

Dumbledore shook his head. "It'll be like it's always been."

The gravy was pretty thick. With one horrid dash of her finger, Tonks smeared a moustache around the sickening body of Fudge, then proceeded to follow Harry.

"Nice likeness!" Fred called as she stomped out. That was followed by an berating from his mother. And the exit would have been more dramatic if Fred's words hadn't sent her crashing into the doorframe. Tonks rubbed her nose, threw the finger, and was gone.

Harry. She had to find Harry. He was the only one who knew what was going on. And... Sirius had been his godfather. Sad to say those two were closer than she had ever been with Sirius. Yet what had it been about him? Just the strange bond of two normal people in a line of dark art psychopaths? Strange how the world worked out like that.

"Harry?" she called, making her way to the front door and nearly tripping over a chicken. "Harry?"

He was by the gate, staring off at a Muggle jet flying overhead, completely unaware of the magical little house a mile beneath it.

She collapsed next to him. "You stole my dramatic exit."

He shrugged. "Sorry."

"Still thinking about Sirius?" she asked. Maybe not the best thing to bring up. "I still think he likes it. Go out in glory. And it just might make everyone else mad."

He sighed and glared at her. "In case you didn't know, this means that there could be other Death Eaters in the Ministry."

"There always have been. You can't possibly think the war is going to be over that easy."

Another shrug. "I guess I just miss him. Which is odd. I'm missing him like I was missing him right after... you know."

Bonding. Tonks had never been good at this sort of thing.

"I just can't help but think that if he worked so hard to come back, well, he'd do it again. Then again, I'll probably wake up all over again and think it was all a crazy dream."

"I really hate that possibility."

He nodded. "No one else gets it."

That was true. "Well said, Harry. All they get is the lovely tabloid image of Mrs. Tawnya Fudge as a villainous temptress."

Harry actually laughed.

"You think it funny to mock my imprisoned sister that way?"

Harry went three shades of red.

A man stood at the gate, all but snarling.

Sirius, Tonks thought automatically. She hadn't said it aloud, had she? But it wasn't Sirius. Though it did look sort of like him. Except for the hair. Red. The same color as Mrs. Fudge's, only not so hideously curly. The face, though, was almost similar. Except more snide. And a broader jaw. Maybe a few years younger than Sirius, yet dressed in... practically rags?

He must have appropriately taken her gaping as an insult. "If you discovered your sister to be in one of Vold– You-Know-Who's deeper circles, you wouldn't give the closet much attention, either." Dramatic sigh, lousy attempt to calm himself. Yet it somehow worked. "Hello," he said in a much kinder voice. "Felix Brousten. Albus Dumbledore wanted to meet me here. I've decided to join the Order of the Phoenix, and I'm sure you two are in it." Without waiting for Harry to collect himself he had the poor kid's hand in his shaking grip.

Psycho, Tonks thought.

"Sorry," Brousten said, stepping back. "But my sister.. Yeah, you must understand that. I was Tawnya Fudge's husb– brother."

Tonks wondered if it were rude to have both her and Harry staring.

"Dreadful news to hear about that Sirius Black doing what he did," Brousten continued. "Never liked him. Though I always thought he was innocent. Was positive of it."

Sirius, Tonks thought. Why did they always have to bring up Sirius?

But Harry was already on his feet, eyes twisting in bewilderment. And... Harry was a confusing kid to read at times. "Dumbledore's inside..."

If they had all stopped being rude. If Dumbledore had stopped pouring out the guilt Tonks was sure he had collected.

But for some reason she wasn't sure of, she had to invite this moron in. So brassy... if she had been in a better mood, he would have been likeable.

"So, Tonks," Brousten said. "I understand you were there at the time."

"How did you know my name?" For a moment she didn't understand, she panicked.

"The paper."

"Oh." Blush. "Of course."

She really wished Harry would stop staring at the guy. He was supposed to be sad. Like everyone else should be.

* * *

"I still can't believe we had to erase his memory, though," James said. "I mean... it's Sirius! Isn't that just... unethical?"

"So is a premature killing," Lily replied, drawing closer to the Burrow.

"Felix Brousten was a little-known auror from a middle-class family who happened to run into a knife," James defended. "I mean, there wasn't even anyone in the room at the time. He just didn't know how to carve a chicken."

"Honey, I meant Sirius."

"At least the real Brousten's spirit isn't complaining." James examined the back of the new body's head. "If Sirius could remember, he'd like that body. Looks almost like his old one, except for the hair."

Lily nodded. "Cute, huh? Nothing wrong with redheads. Though I don't think it matters. And there is nothing immoral about erasing someone's memory. He'll find his own way to help the Order now. Now that because of you and Sirius their definitely going to need all the help they can get."

James sighed. "I just can't believe we erased his memory!" He turned away. "Some best friend I am."

"You're fine." Lily watched as her son, Tonks, and the new body containing Sirius Black approached the Burrow. Sirius/Brousten stopped once, seeming to examine a chicken. Then he turned and winked directly at Lily.

She winked back. Hopefully he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut this time. Well, that plan beginning in a few days, maybe. Give him time to get settled in, out of the limelight.

Maybe he should campaign for Minister. No, too much mess.

The door closed behind them.

Lily was enjoying watching James' suffer. Yeah, it probably was unethical to erase a memory. Felix Brousten was good and dead. He deserved his own memories. And so did Sirius. Only Sirius could protect her son like a good godfather should.

But for now, it was all about entertainment. She'd tell James later that she had "forgotten" the rules.

* * *

**_The End!_**

_Alternate Endings that I didn't Do:_

_Lily and James luckily find Sirius' body and give it back._

_They actually erase Sirius' memory._

_Sirius goes back to being dead and Remus runs off with Tonks (yay)_

_Sirius goes back to being dead, and everyone is sad_.


End file.
